You know when you’ve reached the early attachment stage when, “You can sleep! You’re not thinking about [your partner] 24 hours a day. It’s easier to do other things in your life.”

Brown explains, "We don't know why this is. I don't necessarily think it's because they have found their soulmates. I think it's the person. Some people have an easier time rekindling the earlier stages. Not to say the rest of us can't."For the general population, the intoxication of new love will eventually morph into the next stage: early attachment.Remember, love is a journey, not a destination.

A Journey To Early Attachment - Stage 2

In the previous stage of falling in love, unconscious factors like attraction and the pleasure-reward system take over. Brain scans of couples in this stage showed high levels of dopamine, the chemical that triggers intense pleasure.Now, the more evolved parts of the brain, like the ventral pallidum and attachment hormones, take the lead. These hormones, such as oxytocin, are known as "the love hormone" and are responsible for attachment and bonding.

The Early Attachment Stage

Table of ContentsThe Euphoric StageTake the Love QuizThe Early Attachment StageThe Crisis StageThe Deep Attachment Stage

From Euphoria to Deep Attachment

Suspending negative judgement is vital for a happy relationship. This means decreasing activity in the prefrontal cortex, which judges people negatively. Couples who can maintain this for longer have higher chances of success.In a follow-up study, researchers found that those who stayed together for 3 or more years showed significant decrease in activity in this brain region. This highlights the importance of suspending negative judgement for a lasting relationship.

Key to Relationship Success

Research shows that the passionate stage in relationships can last anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. However, a small percentage of couples (15% to 30%) claim to still feel the same excitement even after 10 or 15 years.This means that the "honeymoon phase" has an expiration date, but some couples can keep the spark alive for much longer. So, don't worry if the intense feelings eventually fade – it's completely normal.

How Long Will It Last?

Neuroscientists and 'experts in love' have outlined 4 stages of a relationship. These stages go from falling in love to living happily ever after (or at least, for a while). Here are the stages they have found, along with ways to successfully navigate each one:

Love Stages

When it comes to coupling, there is no instruction manual. Remember that old playground mantra: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes so and so and a baby carriage?

There's No Checklist

In relationships, the third stage is crucial - it's known as the "seven-year or five-year itch."<ul><li>According to Brown, every relationship has a drift apart phase.</li><li>This can either lead to coming back together or drifting apart.</li><li>A crisis can be the key to overcoming this phase and talking it out together.</li></ul>For some couples, having children can either solidify their bond or cause stress that breaks the relationship apart. If the crisis stage is successfully overcome, the next stage is deep attachment.

The 3rd Stage of Relationships: Make or Break Point

How can we keep love going? According to researchers, one of the best ways is through novelty. Studies show that doing new, exciting, and challenging activities together can benefit relationships.Dr. Art Aron and his wife, Dr. Elaine Aron, developed the "Self Expansion Model" to explain the intense feelings in the early stages of love. It reveals why the first few months of a new relationship can feel so exhilarating.

Keeping It Going

From the honeymoon phase to long-lasting commitment, nearly every couple goes through these stages of love. If you can successfully make it through turbulent times together, your bond will be strengthened and your commitment will be secure and steadfast.

Final Thoughts

When you enter into a relationship, you literally increase who you are. You take on and share in your partner’s perspective on the world in addition to your own, their social status, and their resources. The benefits of new and challenging experiences together are enormous. And they last.

The euphoric stage is sometimes known as the 'honeymoon phase.' What makes this stage so magical?For the past several decades, Helen Fisher, PhD, neuroscientist and Senior Research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute, and Lucy Brown, PhD, Clinical Professor in Neurology at Einstein College of Medicine in New York, have been studying the brain activity of people in love, from the early to the later stages.

Stage 1

In the early part of a relationship—the falling in love stage—the other person is the center of your life. You forgive everything in these early stages. The other person has faults, and you see them, but it doesn’t matter. Maybe they leave their dirty dishes in the sink, but they make you laugh at least daily, so it’s okay. Good things outweigh the negative here."

Falling in love is easy, but making a relationship work is challenging.Just like anything else worth having in life, relationships require effort. Some couples manage to overcome difficulties, while others simply grow apart.

Relationships Take Effort

Finding lasting love requires suspension of judgment, rekindling the early stages, and maintaining novelty.Don't judge your partner too quickly, keep the passion and excitement alive, and always look for new ways to show your love. These could be the keys to unlocking long-term happiness in your relationship.

Cracking the Code of Lasting Love

You can break these stages down based on when they typically occur:Stage 1: The euphoric stage - 6 months to 24 months (2 years)Stage 2: The early attachment stage - 12 months (1 year) to 60 months (5 years)Stage 3: The crisis stage - 60 months (5 years) to 84 months (7 years)Stage 4: The deep attachment stage - 84 months (7 years) and beyond

The 4 Stages Of Love

Couples that had been married for at least one year described love differently. “It’s richer, deeper, it’s knowing them better," says Brown. “Memories have been integrated—both positive and negative—you’ve gone through some difficulties, and you’ve developed a strong attachment.”

In a relationship, the deep attachment stage is the calm after the storm. It's when a couple knows each other well and has been through the challenges. They have confidence in their ability to handle crises and have a plan for future ones. This stage is marked by security and stability.After many years together, couples can experience a lasting, secure connection. If you're fortunate, this stage can last a lifetime.

The Deep Attachment Stage 4

Love is not a one-size-fits-all journey.While some marry and have kids, others take different paths. Each relationship is unique, just like each person.The stages of love remain the same, regardless of the path taken. The key to a happy relationship? Navigating these stages together.

The Many Paths of Love

Top neuroscientists in the field of love explain what happens to our brains as we move through the stages of romantic relationships.

LUCY BROWN

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