Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.Give honest and sincere appreciation.Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Criticism only puts people on the defensive and often leads to resentment. People crave appreciation, not condemnation. Carnegie stresses the importance of understanding others rather than judging them.

Everyone wants to feel important. A genuine compliment or recognition can go a long way. Insincere flattery, however, is transparent and manipulative.

Show people how what you’re suggesting benefits them. Instead of focusing on your desires, frame everything in terms of what the other person wants and how they can get it.

A simple smile can change the tone of a conversation. It’s a universal sign of friendliness.

Remembering and using people’s names builds rapport and shows respect.

People love to talk about themselves. Listen actively and make them feel heard.

Validate others. Make them feel seen and valued, not in a manipulative way but with genuine attention and empathy.

Avoid arguments.Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “you’re wrong.”If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.Begin in a friendly way.Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking (1)

Let the other person feel the idea is theirs. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. Appeal to nobler motives. Dramatize your ideas. Throw down a challenge.

Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking (2)

Even if you "win," you lose in terms of relationships. Persuasion is better than confrontation.

Owning your mistakes disarms others and builds trust.

Kindness opens doors. Starting with warmth puts others in a receptive mindset.

Let them express their ideas and take ownership of the conversation.

People are more invested in ideas they helped develop.

Show authentic curiosity. Ask questions. Be excited about their passions and stories.

Frame discussions around what matters to them. This builds connection and relevance.

People resist change when they feel attacked. Agree where you can, and gently lead them to new conclusions.

Start with things you agree on to create momentum and harmony.

Become genuinely interested in other people. Smile. Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest sound in any language. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.

Part 2: Six Ways to Make People Like You

Updated for today’s readers, Dale Carnegie’s timeless bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People is a classic that has improved and transformed the professional and personal and lives of millions. One of the best-known motivational guides in history, Dale Carnegie’s groundbreaking book has sold tens of millions of copies, been translated into almost every known language, and has helped countless people succeed. Originally published during the depths of the Great Depression—and equally valuable during booming economies or hard times—Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their professional and personal lives. How to Win Friends and Influence People teaches you: -How to communicate effectively -How to make people like you -How to increase your ability to get things done -How to get others to see your side -How to become a more effective leader -How to successfully navigate almost any social situation -And so much more! Achieve your maximum potential with this updated version of a classic—a must-read for the 21st century.

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Dale Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer, and the developer of courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills.

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Arouse In The Other Person An Eager Want

DALE CARNEGIE

Handling People