Begin your day with the 20-20-20 breakdown and guarantee a victorious mindset! 🎉
 🕔 5 AM - Set your alarm and wake up early!
<ul>
 <li> 🏋️‍♀️ First 20 mins - Sweat it out with exercise to crush any excuses for the rest of the day!</li>
 <li> 🧘‍♀️ Next 20 mins - Meditate and journal to calm your mind and discover your thoughts. </li>
 <li> 📖 Final 20 mins - Read a book to gain knowledge and stimulate your growth. </li>
</ul>
 This structured routine is a perfect start to your day! 💪

Victory Hour

Legendary leadership and elite performance expert Robin Sharma introduced The 5am Club concept over twenty years ago, based on a revolutionary morning routine that has helped his clients maximize their productivity, activate their best health and bulletproof their serenity in this age of overwhelming complexity.      Now, in this life-changing book, handcrafted by the author over a rigorous four-year period, you will discover the early-rising habit that has helped so many accomplish epic results while upgrading their happiness, helpfulness and feelings of aliveness.      Through an enchanting—and often amusing—story about two struggling strangers who meet an eccentric tycoon who becomes their secret mentor, The 5am Club will walk you through:<ul><li>How great geniuses, business titans and the world’s wisest people start their mornings to produce astonishing achievements</li><li>A little-known formula you can use instantly to wake up early feeling inspired, focused and flooded with a fiery drive to get the most out of each day</li><li>A step-by-step method to protect the quietest hours of daybreak so you have time for exercise, self-renewal and personal growth</li><li>A neuroscience-based practice proven to help make it easy to rise while most people are sleeping, giving you precious time for yourself to think, express your creativity and begin the day peacefully instead of being rushed</li><li>“Insider-only” tactics to defend your gifts, talents and dreams against digital distraction and trivial diversions so you enjoy fortune, influence and a magnificent impact on the world</li></ul>Part manifesto for mastery, part playbook for genius-grade productivity and part companion for a life lived beautifully, The 5am Club is a work that will transform your life. Forever.

mindfulness

Mindfulness

health

Health

habits

Habits

books

Books

meditation

Meditation

Robin Sharma is one of the world’s premier thinkers on leadership, personal growth and life management. The bestselling author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, Who Will Cry When You Die? and The Saint, the Surfer, and the CEO and four other books on self-transformation. Robin Sharma is in constant demand internationally as keynote speaker at the conferences of many of the most powerful companies on the planet including Microsoft, Nortel Networks, General Motors, FedEx and IBM. He is a resident of Ontario, Canada. (Barnes and Noble)

Robin S. Sharma

The 5AM Club

This can give you a great head start on any working day because you feel entirely re-energized at the beginning of a day. You can get a lot of work done early in the morning when there are fewer distractions than at midday.

1. Wake Up Early

Use website blockers to stop distracting websites from popping up in the middle of your work.

2. Use Website Blockers

Do not waste time deciding whether you should do small tasks that keep cropping up throughout your day. Instead, ask yourself if you can complete the task in 2 minutes or less – if yes, go ahead with the task. If not, add the task to your to-do list for later.

3. Two-minute Rule For Small Tasks

Batch similar tasks so you can complete them with the same frame of mind. This will make your work process flow smoothly and help you do more in less time.

4. Group Similar Tasks

It might be tempting to do two things simultaneously, but multitasking does more harm than good. Research shows that about 98% of people are less productive when they multitask as they are not focusing on a single task.

5. Avoid MultiTasking

Most of us tend to keep some tasks aside, thinking of taking care of those tasks later. But rarely do we actually do those later because we won't add them to our to-do- lists. To avoid this, add each new task to a to-do list, so there's no risk of forgetting later.

6. Use The "One And Done" Rule

Instead of procrastinating on your far-fetched ultimate <a href="https://www.simplilearn.com/time-management-skills-to-achieve-career-goals-article">goals </a>, break down the goals into smaller, more attainable goals that seem more realistic. These goals should be easy to accomplish and fit into your schedule.

7. BreakDown Your Goals

Nothing is perfect, so don't waste time trying to make every task perfect. If the work is good enough, move on to the next thing.

8. Let Go Of Perfectionism

Regardless of how long you have to complete a task, make sure you do it in the given amount of time. Your productivity will improve if you know a deadline is approaching.

9. Follow Deadlines

Once you're finished with the day's work, you probably try to detach from work. Take a few minutes in the morning to reattach yourself to work by thinking about what you achieved the day before or what you hope to accomplish during the given day.

10. Take Time To Reattach Yourself To Work Every Morning

Schedule self-care activities to recharge yourself to prevent burnout from work pressure. It could be anything that helps you relax and unwind — leisurely reading on your favorite couch, a relaxing bedtime ritual, a 10-minute walk, meditating, painting, or anything else.

11. Shedule Time For Self Care

A simple productivity hack is to create your workspace near natural light. Exposure to sunlight is believed to improve sleep, thereby contributing to your well-being and productivity levels.

12. Work Near Natural Light

The first step to being productive is planning a day's schedule in advance. You should know what you're doing when you're doing it, and how long on any given day. Without a schedule, you're likely to miss out on important tasks. Write down a detailed plan of the day early morning or the night before. Write everything you need to do so that you have a sense of direction and know what to focus on next. This eliminates all guesswork, and there's less chance of you drifting away and wasting time because you do not know what you'll do next.

13. Plan Your Day Ahead Of Time

Jot down the three most important tasks for the day. Describe the tasks in detail to avoid any ambiguity. Focus on important tasks rather than urgent ones.

14. Write Down The Three Most Important Daily Tasks

It's easy to give in to distractions, but you must find ways to avoid distractions while working. Distractions cause a lot of wasted time trying to regain focus on the task. Getting rid of distractions can result in more productive work being done in lesser time.

15. Eliminate Possible Distractions

Instead of procrastinating on your far-fetched ultimate goals, break down the goals into smaller, more attainable goals that seem more realistic. These goals should be easy to accomplish and fit into your schedule.

18. Break Down Your Goals

The way you start your day dictates the flow of the rest of the day. You can either start by doing the most demanding task first, so everything else feels more effortless, or do the easiest thing first to gain valuable momentum.

17. Start Your Day With A Tough Or Easy Task

Saying no can be hard for some, but if you want to boost your productivity, you can't allow others to order you around every now and then

16. Learn To Say "No"

Remove clutter from your desk. Studies suggest that red and blue colors improve brain performance, with red known to increase attention to details while blue sparks creativity. Surround your workplace with these colors to enhance productivity.

19. Use Red And Blue Colour More Often

Breaks give your mind a much-needed chance to recover from intense focus, but you must maximize the benefit of breaks. Zone out completely or meditate during breaks to relax your mind and body.

20Take Regular Breaks

Here are some productivity hacks to help you work more efficiently and, most importantly, to leave you with more free time. For more information, click here.

productivity

Productivity

remotework

Remote Work

problemsolving

Problem Solving

timemanagement

Time Management

Top 20 Productivity Hacks & Tips That Actually Work in 2024 | Simplilearn

The average person picks up their phone 58 times per day. Mainly because of the 80+ notifications the average person gets every day. So one of the first steps to reducing your phone usage is to silence unnecessary notifications. This will prevent your phone from constantly buzzing and grabbing your attention. You should silence notifications for all apps except for the ones you truly need to stay updated on.

1. Make Your Phone Shut Up

Social media companies use bright and attractive colors to trick our brains into a sense of urgency. Red notification badges and bright colored icons are appealing. ﻿This can be avoided by changing your phone to grayscale. This also helps your phone feel boring in general which will make you less likely to pick it up.

2. Make Your Phone Boring

Putting a small speed bump between you and addictive social media apps can go a long way to helping you curb stomp phone addiction. Using apps like ClearSpace that force you to wait 15 seconds before you can open any social media apps, give you the time to think about whether you really need to be on social media or if you are just mindlessly scrolling.

3. Speedbump Strategy

One of the best ways to reduce your phone usage is to find activities that you enjoy and add value to your life. Biking, Running, Art, Movies, Sports etc… You will find that you’ll have so much free time to do the things that you’ve always wanted to. Now is your chance to get outside and live life.

4. Replace It!

This is another example of the speed bump theory in action. Our phones make it so easy to access the world in a blink of an eye.By disabling Face ID and maybe even making your passcode extra long, you can delay the instant gratification from social media apps and deter you from unnecessary phone usage.

5. Disable FaceID

When you’re 80 years old, you’re not gonna look back in your life and think “I should’ve scrolled more or watched a few more YouTube videos.” You’re gonna wish you spent more time with family. You’re gonna wish you did more extra curricular activities. You’re gonna wish you lived life more.

a little different of a video today, but I think it'll be valuable to you! :)



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personaldevelopment

Personal Development

videos

Videos

a little different of a video today, but I think it'll be valuable to you! :)



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nathan

your phone is killing you

5 Things You Can Do Right Now to Stop Doom Scrolling

Success doesn’t come from feeling good. Feeling good leads to success.

exerciseandfitness

Exercise & Fitness

entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship

business

Business

Little Secret to Success 

‘Don’t forget to reward yourself when you reach a milestone or short-term goal by inviting wholesome activities you enjoy afterward.’

Heal Your living

Focus on positives: friends, family, hobbies. ☺️

It’s important to make time for yourself. 

Embark on a transformational journey with this easy-to-use minimalist, mindful guide to physical and emotional decluttering from the founder of Heal Your Living, the Youtube lifestyle channel with over 250,000 subscribers Heal Your Living is about more than just getting rid of your stuff: it's a holistic approach to a more fulfilling life, in harmony with your deepest aspirations. Youheum Son, the founder of the Youtube lifestyle channel with over 250,000 subscribers, identifies four areas that comprise the Heal Your Living approach: <li>Mindfulness: Meditation and insight</li><li>Sustainability: Low-waste, eco-friendly lifestyle</li><li>Minimalism: Simple living</li><li>Wellness: Self-care and healing</li> Separated into these four sections, this guide contains easy-to-use daily reflections for emotional and physical decluttering, as well as journaling prompts, planners, checklists, affirmations and mantras. With Youheum's guidance, you can recognize a better way of living and arrive at a turning point to release negative habits. You can freely choose to let go of the past and focus your full attention on healing to live fully without limiting beliefs. The decision to heal will bring you health, a positive mental attitude, and a balance between mind, body, and spirit.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

Youheum Son

Heal Your Living

This <a href="https://productive.fish/blog/habit-tracker-templates/#habit-tracker-hub">Notion habit tracker template</a> is a scope of 3 essential trackers: habit tracker, mobile habits page, and addiction tracker. It provides an overview of your daily habit progress and the tasks you still need to complete. You also can track your daily energy, mood, and productivity score. And with each new week, you can plan your weekly tasks using the ABC method.

Habit Tracker Hub

This is a <a href="https://productive.fish/blog/habit-tracker-templates/#flexible-habit-tracker">free habit tracker template for Notion</a>. It’s a simple and adaptable template. You can set custom frequencies and specific reminders of habits. It also has the integration with Google Calendar. Plus, you can keep track of overdue habits with the 'Don't Give Up' feature.

Flexible Habit Tracker

It’s a 12-month <a href="https://productive.fish/blog/habit-tracker-templates/#google-sheets-habit-tracker">Google Sheets habit tracker template</a>. The tracker helps to set goals and see the progress toward achieving them. It’s fully automatic and easy to use. You can add the numerical trackers for sleep hours, water glasses, etc. And emojis and bar graphs show your progress.

Google Sheets Habit Tracker

This one is a <a href="https://productive.fish/blog/habit-tracker-templates/#free-daily-%26-monthly-habit-tracker-printables">free printable habit tracker template</a>. It’s simple but still effective. The template consists of two pages: a monthly and a yearly tracker. It is available in 7 colors, so you can choose the one you like.

Free Daily & Monthly Habit Tracker Printables

you can find on the Productive Fish blog post: "<a href="https://productive.fish/blog/habit-tracker-templates/">Best 7 Habit Tracker Templates</a>"

Even more habit tracker templates

Habits are simple actions that have a significant impact on us. One of the key points in building a healthy habit or breaking a bad one is habit tracking.

Best Habit Tracker Templates

“It’s not enough to be productive. It’s not enough to be successful. I need my joy triggers. Joy triggers are not rational. Bring them into your daily life, because I really believe that it’s all a part of how we can bring balance into our life—getting joy from simple but beautiful things.”

There are 4 main neurochemicals that are fundamentally linked to pleasure and well-being:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Dopamine: It drives motivation and our desire for reward. It is released when we accomplish a goal or complete a task.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Serotonin: Often referred to as the "happiness molecule," serotonin helps regulate mood and is targeted by antidepressant medications.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Oxytocin: Known as the "love hormone," oxytocin is released during physical touch, social bonding, and positive interactions.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Endorphins: Acting as natural painkillers, they are released in response to physical activity, laughter, and other forms of pleasure.</li></ol>

The Key Neurochemicals of Happiness

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Endocannabinoids are self-produced cannabis and were recently discovered. </li><li class="ql-align-justify"><a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22442371/">Research</a> shows that humans and dogs have higher levels of endocannabinoids after running, making it a possible explanation for the runner's high.</li></ul>

Discovery of Endocannabinoids: Self-Produced Cannabis

There are two ways to define your joy triggers — retroactively or in the moment:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Retroactively: Sit down and remember all the times you felt happy, comfortable, or excited, and write them down. However, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797614542274">research</a> suggests we tend to forget small things easily, so this method may not capture all of your joy triggers.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">In the moment: Be mindful of moments that bring you joy and record them (via journal or voice notes over phone) as they happen. This method can be more effective since we more easily remember what's happening now.</li></ul>

Discovering Your Joy Triggers

Joy Triggers cycle

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Collect joy triggers: Create a dedicated note called “joy triggers” on your phone and add to it every time you feel good. You will end up with a list of small sources of joy in your life.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Keep your list accessible: Ideally, your joy triggers should be simple activities that you could easily repeat any time you need to quickly improve your mood. E.g., drinking a cup of nice tea, listening to a specific song, looking at memes, going for a quick run, photos of past trips, play with your pet(s), call a close friend, dance!</li></ul>

Define your joy triggers

Use your joy triggers to boost your mood:  Feeling down, stressed, or anxious?Instead of ignoring these feelings, try these simple tips to find joy:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Stop what you're doing</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Choose one activity from a list</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Focus on being present and mindful</li></ul>Remember, this won't solve all your problems, but it can help you get through the day!

The beauty of this approach lies in its simplicity and accessibility. No matter what challenges you face or how busy your schedule may be, there’s always an opportunity to pause and savor life’s little pleasures.

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">So, start building your own collection of joy triggers, and make a habit of turning to them whenever you need a quick pick-me-up. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">And consider sharing these little moments with others – by doing so, you’ll not only enhance your own well-being but also inspire those around you to find more joy in their daily lives.</li></ul>

Action, action, action!

Embracing the small, everyday pleasures and understanding your brain's happiness chemistry can transform your mood and unlock constant positivity.

Joy triggers are simple ways to feel instantly happier, such as drinking a cup of your favourite tea, listening to a specific song, or petting your dog.

mentalhealth

Mental Health

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

Joy triggers: happiness on demand

Are you held back by social anxiety? Here's how to overcome it:<ul><li>Bust negative thoughts about awkward situations</li><li>Practice small talk with friends/family before branching out</li><li>Join a club/group activity to ease into social interactions</li><li>Remember to breathe and be kind to yourself if things don't go perfectly</li></ul>

Embracing Awkwardness

With patience and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone, you can conquer social anxiety and thrive in social situations

Embracing Awkwardness: The Road to Overcoming Social Anxiety Through Desensitization Strategies

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

Embracing Awkwardness: Overcoming Social Anxiety

Something that science has been confirming to us, and something that people often learn in therapy, is that we have more power to influence our emotions as we thought we have.

Our mood is not only influenced by our thoughts – yes, they might contribute to a low mood but they are not the only influence. Our mood is mainly made up by our thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and our behaviour.It is hard to notice them separately but that it is exactly what we can do to deal with low mood: Break down how you feel into what thoughts you have, what emotions you feel, what your senses experience and how you were and are behaving. Then, you can pick one or a few of these things and change them.

Understanding Low Mood

When we experience low mood, it may have been influenced by several factors from our internal and external world, but when we understand what those influences are, we can use that knowledge to shift it in the direction we want it to go.

When dealing with mood, it is essential to remember that it is not all in your head. It’s also in your body state, your relationships, your past and present, your living conditions and lifestyle. It’s in everything you do and don’t do, in your diet and your thoughts, your movements and memories. How you feel is not simply a product of your brain.

We can’t just press a button and produce our desired set of emotions for the day. But we do know that how we feel is closely intertwined with the state of our body, the thoughts we spend time with and our actions. Those other parts of our experience are the ones that we can influence and change.

We often spiral into even more negative mood states because when feeling low, we often lack the energy to perform our favourite activities that delight us. Hence, after a certain period of time, we end up feeling worse. Engaging in activities that give us instant relief, such as scrolling through social media, are just as harmful.Reflect on how you deal with certain emotions and whether or not these coping strategies are actually helpful.

Breaking Low Mood Cycles

Thoughts influence our mood and our mood influences our thoughts, which is why we are even more prone to biased thinking when feeling low:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Mind-reading: Making assumptions about thoughts and feelings of other people.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Egocentric thinking: Thinking that everyone shares the same values etc. as you do and judging based on that assumption.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Emotional reasoning: Thinking that because you feel a certain way, it must be true.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Musts/shoulds: Having unrealistic expectations.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">All-or-nothing thinking: Thinking in extremes.</li></ul>

Thought Biases

Reflect on past moments that were good or bad. Do you recognise any of these biases?By reflecting on past moments regularly, with times it becomes easier to notice thought biases in the very moment they occur. With that comes the power to recognise that they are not facts but simply biases – they might not be true. You don’t have to find an answer, in fact, there might not even be one, so learn to be okay with not knowing.

Dealing With Thought Biases

“If we can acknowledge that each of our thoughts presents just one possible idea among many, then we open ourselves up to the possibility of considering others.”

It is almost impossible to control what thoughts arrive at your brain, but you can control how much attention you give them. Trying not to think about something is counterproductive. Instead, choose how long you want to stay with each thought.Metacognition (thinking about thinking) helps to create distance between you and your thoughts. With that, you can analyse them and think of where you would rather want them to go.When noticing any thought spirals and rumination, say stop, get up and move around a little. Practicing mindfulness and gratitude help with moving your attention consciously.

Controlling Your Thougths

“The power of any thought is in how much we buy into it. How much we believe it to be true and meaningful.”

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Be compassionate with yourself and speak to yourself as you would to a friend.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">When feeling low, it is hard to make decisions, so don’t try to make the perfect ones and instead try to make “good enough” decisions. Smalls steps help you in the long run and build a habit.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">When analysing your emotions and problems, always think about the direction you want to take. Focus on where you want to go and how you might get there. What would you feel, how would you think and behave, what would your physical sensations be?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Focus on mental health basics such as exercise, sleep, diet and social interaction.</li></ul>

How To Deal With Bad Days

There are two types of having no motivation:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Procrastination: Avoiding something because it is associated with stress and discomfort.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Anhedonia: No longer enjoying activities you used to enjoy. It is associated with depression.</li></ul>You can increase motivation by:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Physical movement, even if it is just a little.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Remembering your goals and staying connected with them.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Focusing on small but consistent progress and habits, instead of big goals that are hard to keep up with.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Learning how to rest and relax.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Changing how you think about failure and treating yourself with compassion.</li></ul>

Motivation

“Once you sustain the habit of prioritizing your healthy behaviours, they will sustain you.”

“Science tells us about the things that work for most people. But the detail you can establish from looking at your own life with curiosity adds significant value.”

“If something matters to you and could benefit your health, don’t wait until you feel like it – do it anyway.”

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">When an emotion tells you to not do an actions that aligns with your values, do the opposite of what the emotion suggests.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Build a habit: Make it simple, adjust your environment, make clear plans, reward yourself, know why you want the change.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Break bigger goals down into small steps. Take time to rest and recharge.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Pre-plan what you will do in hard situations that trigger you.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Know who you want to be and how you want your life to look like. What decisions would you have made?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Figure out the pros and cons of both the change you want to and of changing nothing.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Reflect on your past.</li></ul>

Doing Things You Don't Want To Do

"The more we repeat an action the easier it becomes for the brain to do it with less effort in the future.”

“Repeat a behaviour enough times and it will become a habit.”

“The most effective way to solve a problem is to understand the problem inside out.”

“You cannot change what you cannot make sense of.”

Emotions are neither good nor bad. They aren’t facts but simply a possible perspective. Don't push them away, as this will lead to worse problems in the long run. Instead, ask yourself curiously what this emotion is trying to tell you.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Soothe yourself using tools that make you feel safe: You can create a little box with pictures of loved ones, a bag of tea, a book etc. that you can turn to.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Name the emotion specifically: Use a feeling wheel such as then one from Wilcox (1982) to find out what exactly you are feeling. If you don’t find a name, create your own name.</li></ul>

Dealing With Emotion

“You are not your feelings and your feelings are not who you are.”

“If there is something emotions are useful for, it’s telling us what we need.”

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Show that you care. Listen closely, ask open questions. Don’t give advice unless they ask for it. Help them by cooking a meal etc.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">They usually have an idea of what they need, ask them how they would like to be supported.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Take care of yourself. Have a space where you can express your own thoughts and meet your needs. Set boundaries.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Create a crisis plan so that you and the person struggling know what to do in a specific situation.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">If they have a diagnosis, learn more about it. There will be ups and downs in their healing journey. Seek professional help.</li></ul>

How To Support Someone

There are five stages of grief:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Denial: Denying the situation, saying it is just temporary.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Anger: Being angry at the person, situation or the unfairness of our world. It is associates with pain or fear, so look at what might be really going on. Perfom physical activities.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Bargaining: Ruminating about “what if" and things you could have done better.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Depression: Feeling sad and empty. This is part of the process. Don't surpress it. Feel and soothe your way through it.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Acceptance: Starting to accept the sitaution. You might not agree with it but you open yourself up to new things.</li></ul>

Stages Of Grief (Kubler-Ross, 1969)

William Worden (2011) described four tasks of mourning:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Accept the new reality after the loss: It is okay to feel whatever you are feeling. Have no expectation about how you should be feeling or healing.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Work through the pain of grief: Don’t push the emotions away and instead try to express them.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Adjust to an environment with the loved one missing:  Take small steps and build a life around the loss.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Find a way to stay connected to them while also engaging with life as it is now: It is possible to remember the loved one and continue living at the same time.</li></ol>

The Tasks Of Mourning

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Continue to have a relationship with the person you have lost.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Build a relationship with yourself. Focus on the feelings and sensations in your body to build awareness. Listen to your needs.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Express the grief in a way that you feel comfortable with.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Take as much time as you need.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Set boundaries with the people around you.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Create a routine and bring a little structure into your day. Take care of your mind and your body through exercise, diet, sleep etc.</li></ul>

Pillars Of Strength (Samuel, 2017)

Criticism and disapproval often have nothing to do with who you are as a person. People are often critical with others because they are highly critical with themselves. Learning how to deal with criticism healthily can be a crucial skill.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Shift your mindset around failure: Use it as an opportunity to grow and improve.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Let go of criticism that reflect the values of others but that are not aligned with your own. Identify whose opinions matter most.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Understand that people often are more focused on themselves as they are on you. This is called the spotlight effect (Gilovich & Savitsky, 2000)</li></ul>

Dealing With Criticism

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Know what triggers shame in you. You might have linked these things to your self-worth. However, your self-worth is not dependent on you being perfect and never making mistakes.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Reality-check the criticism. Understand that these might be just opinions and not facts. Look at your behaviour and evaluate.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Talk to yourself in a way that lifts you up instead of destroying your self-worth. It is okay and normal to make mistakes You always have a chance to improve and do better.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Talk about the shame itself. Silence intensifies shame while expressing it can minimise feelings of shame.</li></ul>

Dealing With Shame

Saying that you don’t care what anyone thinks is not the way to go, as it displays insecurities rather than understanding that we are wired to care about what other people think. Understand whose opinions you value and whose opinions you care less about.Understand who you are and who you want to be. What are your values, dreams and goals? When knowing these, you will also know which criticism to take and which to let go of.Don’t be your own critic, instead love yourself through the process. Speak to yourself compassionately.

Understanding Yourself

Building confidence requires taking action you are uncomfortable with.We have a comfort, stretch and panic zone (Luckner & Nadler, 1991). In your comfort zone, it is unlikely to develop confidence and leaning into your panic zone is not necessary. Your stretch zone is where you should lean into.Write down a situation you would feel most uncomfortable in. Identify a similar situation that is less scary. Go on until you find a situation that is slightly out of your comfort zone. Start there and build yourself all the way up step by step. Be uncomfortable for a while, then go back to safety.

Building Confidence

“Confident is not the same as being comfortable. One of the biggest misconceptions about becoming self-confident is that it means living fearlessly. The key to building confidence is quite the opposite. It means we are willing to let fear be present as we do the things that matter to us.”

“To build confidence, go where you have none. Repeat every day and watch your confidence develop.”

Confidence is not really built by speaking positive affirmations. When having low self-esteem and speaking affirmations, you might even end up feeling worse (Wood et al., 2009), as you automatically find reasons to why the affirmations aren’t true.How you talk to yourself still matters though. Hence, it is better to talk to yourself in a compassionate way as a coach would talk to an athlete: They are honest with the athlete but still encouraging.

Affirmations Vs. Compassionate Self-Talk

"The way we start to believe something more positive about ourselves is to use action to create evidence for it.”

Yes, you read that correctly. Self-esteem means being able to evaluate yourself in a positive way and believe in those appraisals (Harris, 2010).People often suggest looking at your strengths and tell you that you will be successful. However, “success” is often associated with being a winner, accomplishments and being acknowledged by others. This results in comparison or competitive behaviour and thus, feeling worse and inadequate.High self-esteem isn't linked to performing better or better relationships. Instead, it correlates with arrogance and discrimination (Bauermeister et al., 2003).

You Don't Need To Work On Your Self-Esteem

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Notice changes in your behaviour as they often indicate how you are feeling.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Take a step back from your emotions by giving them a name.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Notice when you are having the urge to block your feelings. Let them wash over you knowing that they will pass. Soothe yourself through it.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Learn from it. Reflect on what you did well and what you could have done better.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Return to your values and what matters to you.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Try again after working through the experience.</li></ul>

Bouncing Back From Failure

Dr. Julie Smith offers tools and knowledge from therapy to deal with emotions and life circumstances effectively, covering a huge variety of topics such as stress, confidence, low mood, anxiety, motivation, relationships etc.

International bestseller "Smart, insightful, and warm. Dr. Julie is both the expert and wise friend we all need." -Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of the "Dear Therapists" podcast? Drawing on years of experience as a clinical psychologist, online sensation Dr Julie Smith provides the skills you need to navigate common life challenges and take charge of your emotional and mental health in her debut book. Filled with secrets from a therapist's toolkit, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before teaches you how to fortify and maintain your mental health, even in the most trying of times. Dr Julie Smith's expert advice and powerful coping techniques will help you stay resilient, whether you want to manage anxiety, deal with criticism, cope with depression, build self-confidence, find motivation, or learn to forgive yourself. Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before tackles everyday issues and offers practical solutions in bite-sized, easy-to-digest entries which make it easy to quickly find specific information and guidance. Your mental well-being is just as important as your physical well-being. Packed with proven strategies, Dr. Julie's empathetic guide offers a deeper understanding of how your mind works and gives you the insights and help you need to nurture your mental health every day. Wise and practical, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before might just change your life.

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

Find 100+ Facts About Habits  - Curated from inspiring sources like Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!

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It's time to
Read like a Pro.

The 5AM Club

Top 20 Productivity Hacks & Tips That Actually Work in 2024 | Simplilearn

5 Things You Can Do Right Now to Stop Doom Scrolling

Little Secret to Success

Heal Your Living

Best Habit Tracker Templates

Joy triggers: happiness on demand

Embracing Awkwardness: Overcoming Social Anxiety

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

Metcalfe, J. & Mischel, W. (1999). A Hot/Cool-System Analysis of Delay of Gratification: Dynamics of Willpower, Psychological Review, vol.106, no. 1

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.