Many workplaces operate in a constant state of urgency. But not everything that feels urgent is important. Leaders who do not distinguish between the two create cultures of busyness instead of impact.

“Now We’re Talking Busyness, Let’s Talk Busyness.”

To shift this, teams need to normalize asking questions before committing to work. <ul><li>What is the cost of not doing this now?</li><li>What are we saying no to by saying yes to this? </li><li>Are we solving the right problem?</li></ul>These questions might seem like they delay progress, but in reality, they accelerate alignment. And when used consistently, they help teams break the reactive cycle and focus on what truly moves the needle.

Are We Solving The Right Problem?

“What is the cost of not doing this now? What are we saying no to by saying yes to this?”

corporateculture

Corporate Culture

strategy

Strategy

business

Business

humanresources

Human Resources

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Prioritization At Work: A Culture Of Impact

We have two lives, Roy, the life we learn with and the life we live with after that. Suffering is what brings us toward happiness. All it taught me was to stay away from it. I am sick of all I have suffered.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

philosophy

Philosophy

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

Bernard Malamud: The One We Learn With And The One We Live With

Have you ever marveled at how the last 10 years seem to have passed in a flash or wondered why you still feel mentally anchored in a recent version of yourself, regardless of your age? This phenomenon isn’t just nostalgia or denial - it’s rooted in how our brains encode, store, and compress memory. Whether we are 20 or 70, our recollection of the “recent past” often holds a uniform texture, making it feel like time hasn’t truly changed us. The brain’s memory compression mechanisms allow us to perceive time fluidly, which paradoxically helps explain why people often “don’t feel their age.”

The Brain As A File Compression Software

Rather than storing memories as a linear reel of experiences, the brain condenses events into abstract snapshots, a process that is often called memory compression. Instead of exact playback, our memories function more like a story we reconstruct with each recall. This is especially true for episodic memory—our timeline of lived experiences—which undergoes temporal smoothing and gist extraction. In this sense, the brain prioritizes the emotional weight, meaning, and continuity of experiences over fine-grained chronological accuracy.

The Brain As A Temporal Editor

As a result, events from the past five years may feel temporally equivalent, whether 30 or 60, because they have been compressed into fewer and more significant mental bookmarks. This compression also causes the early years, rich with novelty and “firsts,” to feel longer, while later years, often filled with repetition, seem much shorter.

Gist Over Accuracy & Novelty Over Numbers

Memory is not a vault of static data but a constructive process where imagination plays a crucial role. As we recall an experience, our brains reconstruct rather than replay it, combining factual memory with creative elements to form what neuroscientists call “episodic simulation”. This intertwining of memory and imagination blurs the line between past and present, especially for more recent memories that are fresher and, thus, more vivid.

Memory, Imagination, and The Line Between Past And Present

This mental simulation also impacts our subjective sense of age. Since our self-image is heavily based on our recent episodic memories—compressed similarly across decades—we experience a continuity of self. Our brain’s need for narrative coherence leads us to maintain a unified and stable self-perception over time, regardless of age.So when people say, “I still feel like I’m in my twenties,” it’s less about vanity and more about how our memory system maintains a sense of psychological constancy.

The Continuity Of Self

Time perception isn’t just about clocks and calendars—it’s deeply psychological. As we age, fewer events stand out as novel or emotionally intense, resulting in fewer unique memory traces being formed. Consequently, the brain compresses large spans of similar experiences into gist-like recollections, which accelerates the passage of time.

Fewer Bookmarks, Faster Time

Young children, in contrast, perceive time as expansive. Their brains absorb new patterns, social interactions, and sensory experiences. Adults, particularly those caught in routines, create fewer “first-time” memories. This diminishes the cognitive landmarks used to signify the passage of time, leading to the feeling that years fly by. However, even older adults can “slow time down” by actively engaging in novel activities, traveling, or learning new skills. These activities create richer mental timestamps that expand the perceived duration of life phases.

“Hey, Brain: Add Bookmark.”

”I don’t feel my age” lies not in denial but in neurobiology. Our brain, designed to compress, abstract, and reconstruct our experiences, treats recent memories similarly across ages. This creates an illusion of temporal uniformity, where five years feels like five years, whether we’re fresh out of college or nearing retirement. While time marches objectively, our internal narrative—crafted by selective memory and episodic compression—follows its own rules.

Narrative Coherence and Identity, Or: “I Don’t Feel My Age”

The brain’s memory compression causes the recent past to feel similar across ages, explaining why we often don’t sense our age despite the passing years.

habits

Habits

timemanagement

Time Management

longevity

Longevity

Timeless Minds: The Clock Time And The Narrative Time Of Us

Calmly observe, hold [your] ground, react firmly, act but keep a low profile.(冷静观察、稳住阵脚、沉着应付、韬光养晦、有所作为: leng jing guan cha, wen zhu zhen jiao, chen zhuo ying fu, tao guang yang hui, you suo zuo wei).

Commonly known as “Hide your strength, bide your time”, and grossly misinterpreted.

Ever since former leader Deng Xiaoping made taoguang yanghui, literally hide brightness, nourish obscurity, China's diplomatic guideline two decades ago, the phrase has been misinterpreted and misunderstood by the international community.

entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship

politics

Politics

Deng Xiaoping: Retreat From The Limelight, Accomplish Things In The Shadows

There are decades where nothing happens;and there are weeks when decades happen.

Vladimir Ilyich Lenin: There Are Decades and There Are Weeks

High performers are often the ones that leaders least expect to lose because they are the ones that they depend on most. They consistently deliver. They rarely complain. But they also tend to leave quietly when they feel overlooked, under-challenged, or taken for granted. So why are leaders missing the warning signs?

“I Don’t Understand! What Happened?”

Leaders often make the mistake of giving more work to high performers without giving more opportunity. Being the go-to person for tough projects can feel like a compliment, until it becomes a trap. Eventually, what once felt like a privilege begins to feel like exploitation. The key is to pair expectations with elevation.

Giving More Work Without Giving More Opportunity

Liz Wiseman, CEO of The Wiseman Group and author of Multipliers, argues that many leaders unintentionally diminish their best people by over-relying on them. She pointed out that high performers often become the go-to problem-solvers but are rarely stretched in new ways. Without meaningful growth, even the most capable team members start to look elsewhere. Her insight reinforces the importance of pairing challenge with growth.

Offering Challenge Without Offering Growth

The cost of losing a high performer goes beyond replacing them, because it impacts momentum, morale, and memory. These are the people others look to for standards. When they leave, it sends a message. Either the company does not value excellence, or they do not recognize strain until it is too late. Both are dangerous messages to send.

When High Performers Leave, It Sends A Message

Leaders often think retention is about engagement, but for high performers, it is more often about alignment. Is this still the right place for me to grow? Do I still feel proud of what I do? Do I trust my leader to advocate for my future?

It’s Not About Engagement, It’s About Alignment

By the time a high performer is explaining their reasons for leaving, it is no longer to give feedback. By then, it is about closure. Leaders who rely on exit interviews to gather insights are missing the point. What matters more are the conversations that happen before someone starts looking. Rather than think of retention as a post-mortem, it’s important to think of it as a constant practice.

Why Exit Interviews Come Too Late For High Performers

Leaders should make career development conversations routine, not reactive. Instead of assuming satisfaction, they should ask questions like: What part of your work feels most energizing right now? What do you wish you could spend more time doing? What do you want to learn next? These questions open doors before people close them.

Leaders Should Open Doors Before People Close Them

The best time to check in with your top talent is before they go quiet. High performers are not immune to doubt. They just hide it better. In a time when competition for talent is intense and top contributors have more options than ever, the leaders who win are those who notice early, ask often, and lead with intention. Losing a high performer is not always preventable, but you shouldn’t have it take you by surprise.

High Performers Will Not Wait To Be Noticed

“I'm starting to feel just a little abused, Like a coffee machine in an office.”

teamwork

Teamwork

Why High Performers Leave And What Leaders Miss Until It’s Too Late

If you are not at the table then you’re probably on the menu.

If one wishes to influence a decision then one must be present at the negotiation table. One’s rights and interests will always be consumed by the other participants at the table.

career

Career

At The Table or On The Menu?

Man is a gregarious animal, and much more so in his mind than in his body. He may like to go alone for a walk, but he hates to stand alone in his opinions.

history

History

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Philosopher George Santayana on Why We Follow The Crowd

Gentlemen: You have undertaken to cheat me. I won’t sue, for the law is too slow. I’ll ruin you.

“Cornelius Vanderbilt didn’t build companies. He dismantled competitors.”

Cornelius Vanderbilt was a force in 19th century America, playing a pivotal role in transitioning the U.S. economy from rural mercantilism to industrial corporate capitalism. Vanderbilt didn't just compete—he dominated; and didn’t just dominate one industry—he conquered three: ferries, steamships, and railroads. He understood that power lay in controlling infrastructure and not just operating within it. His cutthroat tactics were both feared and admired but his vision for what the economy could be was undeniable.   This is the story of how Vanderbilt turned calculated aggression into an art form, how he endured more pain than his competitors, and how he built systems that outlived him.   Learn the mindset, strategies, and brutal lessons behind his dominance; the game of business hasn’t changed as much as you think.   (02:20) Prologue (05:12) PART 1 - The Dutch Inheritance (08:21) The Young Boatman (12:30) Capitalizing on War (15:27) General Merchant of the Sea (19:29) PART 2 - The Meeting That Changed Everything (21:48) The Steamboat Wars (24:12) The Anti-Monopoly Crusader (27:06) The Rise of the Commodore (32:08) The Monopolist's Nemesis (34:58) PART 3 - Sole Control (37:28) Prometheus (40:18) Star of the West (44:06) Europe and Betrayal (48:15) The Independent Line (50:13) PART 4 - The Commodore’s Return (51:55) Gray Eyed Man of Destiny (53:36) The Conspiracy (54:41) Finishing Walker (55:54) Conquering the Seas (58:13) America's Wealthiest Citizen (60:47) PART 5 - Vanderbilt's Railroad Dominance (01:01:59) The Path to Confrontation (01:03:37) The Breaking Point (01:04:43) The Power to Punish (01:06:32) The Collapse (01:07:50) The Silent Conquest (01:08:57) The Consolidation (01:10:54) The Legacy (01:12:15) FINAL PART - Vanderbilt: The Architect of Modern American Business (01:14:19) Reflections  This episode is for informational purposes only and most of the research came from reading The First Tycoon by T.J. Stiles and Tycoon’s War by Stephen Dando-Collins.  Check out highlights from these books in our repository, and find key lessons from Cornelius Vanderbilt here — fs.blog/knowledge-project-podcast/outliers-cornelius-vanderbilt  Upgrade — If you want to hear my thoughts and reflections at the end of all episodes, join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠fs.blog/membership⁠⁠ and get your own private feed.  Newsletter — The Brain Food newsletter delivers actionable insights and thoughtful ideas every Sunday. It takes 5 minutes to read, and it’s completely free. Learn more and sign up at fs.blog/newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

podcasts

Podcasts

Master the best of what other people have already figured out so you can use their lessons in your life to create an unstoppable advantage.   Shane Parrish is an entrepreneur and sought-after speaker. His newsletter (https://fs.blog/podcast) offers timeless insights you can use to change your life.    In The Knowledge Project, Shane interviews people at the top of their game. Every episode is packed with hard-earned lessons that you can use in your life. Tune in to create an unstoppable advantage.   Sit down and learn from the best. Previous guests include Reid Hoffman, Esther Perel, Daniel Kahneman, Tobi Lutke, Marshall Goldsmith, Kunal Shah, Ander Huberman, David Sinclair, Ret. General Stanley McChrystal, Marc Andreessen, Patrick Collison, Robert Cialdini, Walter Isaacson, Chris Bosh, Kat Cole, Adam Grant, Angela Duckworth, Seth Godin, Matt Mullenweg, Lisa Feldman Barrett, Maria Konnikova, Bill Ackman, Annie Duke, Derek Sivers, Jim Collins, Naval Ravikant, and many others. They reveal hard-earned lessons on leadership, decision-making, hiring and firing, productivity, habits, and more.   New episodes are released every second Tuesday.   Learn more at https://fs.blog/podcast

The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

#222 Outliers: Cornelius Vanderbilt — The First Tycoon

Have you ever found yourself talking aloud to figure out a problem, or do you prefer long, silent reflection before concluding? These habits might seem insignificant, but they indicate whether a person is an external or internal processor. Our processing style is like a cognitive fingerprint—a unique part of our mind's machinery that reveals a lot about our personality, coping strategies, and how we interact with others.

Our Processing Style: A Technology Of Thinking

Understanding processing styles can transform relationships, self-awareness, and conflict resolution. Recognizing whether we are internal or external processors isn't just about curiosity; it's about learning how to work with our strengths and understanding how our style impacts others.

The Importance Of Understanding Processing Styles

At the core, processing style refers to the way your brain organizes, evaluates, and thinks through information. <ul><li>Internal processors engage in quiet, reflective thought. They prefer to "sort things out" internally before sharing their ideas or feelings with others. They're like a slow cooker, letting everything simmer before serving a final dish.</li><li>External processors, on the other hand, think out loud. They tend to articulate their thoughts as they arise, using speech to clarify and organize their ideas. They're like chefs testing flavors aloud in the kitchen as they cook.</li></ul>

Internal Processors And External Processors

Neither style is inherently better; each offers valuable strengths and poses some interpersonal challenges. Understanding the nuances of these styles can help us get a clearer picture of personality traits, coping mechanisms, and how people engage with the world.

Internal Processors And External Processors: Who Are Better?

Internal processors are often linked to introspection, self-reliance, and conscientiousness. Recent studies in personality psychology indicate that internal processors score higher in traits like openness to experience and introversion on the Big-Five Personality traits. They might prefer solitude to recharge and value deep, meaningful relationships over surface-level interactions.

The Internal Processors - Part 1

An internal processor's coping mechanisms usually revolve around self-reflection. They are more likely to journal, meditate, or mentally rehearse before making decisions or dealing with stress. However, this inward focus sometimes leads to overthinking, rumination, or difficulty expressing emotions to others.An internal processor will spend days thinking about how to address conflicts, but feel blindsided when the other person brings up issues spontaneously.

The Internal Processors - Part 2

External processors, by contrast, correlate strongly with extraversion and agreeableness. New research on verbal behavior and problem-solving suggests that external processors use conversation and dialogue as extensions of their thinking process. These individuals thrive on bouncing ideas off others, making them collaborative team players and great problem solvers in social settings.

The External Processors - Part 1

The coping mechanisms of external processors often involve external outlets like discussing emotions, seeking advice, or having brainstorming sessions. This means they may come across as more transparent in their emotional needs, but their rapid-fire thinking can sometimes overwhelm quieter or more reserved individuals.An external processor will talk through every facet of an issue as it arises, often overwhelming others by the sheer volume and pace of their verbal processing.

The External Processors - Part 2

Our processing style also significantly influences your interaction style with others. External processors are generally seen as more transparent, but can unintentionally dominate conversations or interrupt others without meaning to. On the other hand, internal processors are often viewed as thoughtful listeners, though they can be misunderstood as aloof or disengaged.

The Different Processors And Others

When internal and external processors clash, conflicts can arise simply because one person's pace or processing method feels foreign to the other. This often happens in marriages, sibling relationships, or even at work. But rather than considering these styles as incompatible, think of them as complementary.

The Different Processors in Relationships: A Bad Contrast?

For example, an external processor might help draw out thoughts and feelings from an internal processor by asking well-timed, open-ended questions. On the flip side, internal processors can teach external processors the art of slowing down for deeper reflection. The key is respect and recognizing that everyone navigates their mental landscape differently.

The Different Processors in Relationships: A Good Complement.

Ask for time and space:If you're an internal processor, explain to your external processing partner that you need a moment to think before responding. Share when you're ready to engage.

Practical Tips for Navigating Processing Differences

Practice active listening:During emotionally charged situations, external processors can focus on listening rather than jumping into their stream of thought.

Create systems for collaboration:For example, set up designated times for sharing thoughts or using tools like email or lists. These can act as bridges between the two styles.

Be mindful of stress responses:When stressed, external processors may vent aloud, while internal processors become quieter. Recognizing these patterns can reduce miscommunication.

Our processing style is like a window into how our mind works. Whether we think best quietly with ourself or out loud with others, our style is both a strength and an opportunity for growth. Paying attention to these differences can deepen our relationships and give us greater compassion for others' needs.Ultimately, the nature of thought is not solely about cognition; it's also about connection. How we think affects how we relate to ourself, others, and the world around us.

Navigating Landscapes And Bridging Differences

What our processing style reveals about us.

Understanding whether you're an internal or external processor enhances self-awareness and relationships. Each style has strengths and challenges that complement each other.

Prioritization At Work: A Culture Of Impact

Bernard Malamud: The One We Learn With And The One We Live With

Timeless Minds: The Clock Time And The Narrative Time Of Us

Deng Xiaoping: Retreat From The Limelight, Accomplish Things In The Shadows

Vladimir Ilyich Lenin: There Are Decades and There Are Weeks

Xarikleia