<ul><li>first opportunity to explain to the committee why you should be selected to study for a postgraduate doctorate</li><li>it should complement your CV</li><li>should tailor the content to your chosen Ph.D. topic</li><li>your personal statement should be separate from the cover letter</li></ul>

What is a cover letter?

<ul><li>personal statement focus upon your interests and your ambitions</li><li>cover letter will look at your tangible achievements such as your academic and professional experience</li></ul>

cover letter vs personal statement

<ul><li>Who you are?</li><li>Your Skills and achievements</li><li>Your research</li><li>Your understanding of your research projection </li><li>specific skills</li></ul>

Key points to include in the letter

<ul><li>Start of cover letter: address the necessary person of contact</li><li>Introduce yourself: who you are, why should committee continue to read your application letter, why you want to study further, what Ph.D. you are applying for</li><li>show skills and achievement: follow the STAR method</li><li>the end of cover letter: reiterate why you want to study at this specific institute, reasons why you are a good fit, also mention what you plan to do with your research upon it completion</li></ul>

How to write a cover letter?

<ul><li>Situation: explain the situation</li><li>Task: What was your responsibility in the situation</li><li>Action: How did you solve the problem</li><li>Result: What was the outcome?</li></ul>

STAR method to explain skills achievement

<ul><li>keep it concise</li><li>don't iterate what has already been written on your CV</li><li>provide evidence</li><li>check for errors</li></ul>

Tips to improve

Learn how to make your PhD cover letter stand out from others. With examples and important tips.

career

Career

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

communication

Communication

How to Write a Great PhD Cover Letter

Whether you are an associate manager or a senior executive, what you say, how you say it, when you say it, to whom you say it, and whether you say it within the proper context are critical components of your strategic leadership potential.

To Sound Like A Leader - HBR

This “executive voice” is less about your performance and more about your strategic instincts and your awareness of the signals you send in daily interactions and communications. Developing an executive voice can mean the difference between success and failure in your communication and leadership style.

Executive Voice

You can show up more strategically in meetings by doing your homework and by taking the lead in analyzing difficult situations. Bring solutions, not just problems.

Doing Homework Before Meeting

Remaining calm in the pressure cooker. People with an effective executive voice aren’t easily rattled. They provide levelheaded leadership even when — in fact, particularly when — everyone around them is losing their composure. By making the necessary adjustments to your approach to participation, you can start showing up more strategically in every setting you encounter at work.

Being Calm In Difficult Situation

One of the best ways to build your strategic thinking is by leveraging relationships more intentionally, with specific business goals in mind. To develop your executive voice, take time to reach out to at least one person each week outside of your immediate team or functional area. Try to learn:<ul><li>how they fit into the business as a whole</li><li>their goals and challenges</li><li>ways you might support them as a strategic business partner</li></ul>

Cultivate strategic relationships

Knowing or finding out in advance what your expected role is in a group forum or event can guide you in determining the kind of voice you need for that particular venue and can help ensure that you understand the context before you speak up.

Understand the context

Sometimes we fail to tap into an executive voice because we focus too much on our own function or role. Strategic leaders are more visionary than that, taking an enterprise view that focuses less on themselves and more on the wider organization. Another part of being visionary is developing the ability to articulate aspirations for the future and a rationale for transformation.

Be Visionary

One of the best ways to build your strategic thinking is by leveraging relationships more intentionally, with specific business goals in mind.To develop your executive voice, take time to reach out to at least one person each week outside of your immediate team or functional area. Try to learn:<ol><li>how they fit into the business as a whole</li><li>their goals and challenges</li><li>ways you might support them as a strategic business partner</li></ol>

Leading strategically with a strong executive voice involves problem solving, not just finger-pointing at difficult issues.You can show up more strategically by doing your homework and taking the lead in analyzing situations. Brainstorm fresh ideas that go beyond the obvious. Even if you don’t have the perfect answer, you can demonstrate your ability to come up with clever solutions.

Bring solutions, not just problems

Whether you are an associate manager or a senior executive, what you say, how you say it, when you say it, to whom you say it, and whether you say it within the proper context are critical components of your strategic leadership potential. This “executive voice” is less about your performance and more about your strategic instincts and your awareness of the signals you send in daily interactions and communications. Developing an executive voice can mean the difference between success and failure in your communication and leadership style. You can show up more strategically in meetings by doing your homework and by taking the lead in analyzing difficult situations. Bring solutions, not just problems. And stay calm in the pressure cooker. People with an effective executive voice aren’t easily rattled. They provide levelheaded leadership even when — in fact, particularly when — everyone around them is losing their composure. By making the necessary adjustments to your approach to participation, you can start showing up more strategically in every setting you encounter at work.

corporateculture

Corporate Culture

teamwork

Teamwork

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

To Sound Like a Leader, Think About What You Say, and How and When You Say It

Pick one or two values that are important for your company in order to win, and evaluate your candidate's attitude and track record relative to them.Facebook and Dropbox are two examples of companies that did this consistently. They managed to build a strong company culture that enabled them to grow fast.

Interview candidates based on your company's values

Facebook evaluated culture fit for two values:1. Move Fast and Break Things <ul><li>They evaluated if candidates finished their coding questions in time. It mattered less if they had errors.</li><li>They looked for tradeoffs that candidates made to move faster. Did they make the right simplifying assumptions? Did they cut corners while still solving the problem?</li></ul>2. Focus on Impact<ul><li>They asked candidates about their proudest accomplishment, and looked to see if they drilled down on why that accomplishment was significant. Did it have downstream impact on users?</li></ul>

Facebook company values

Dropbox evaluated culture fit for two values:1. Sweat the Details<ul><li>They looked for correctness and attention to the small details. Did the candidate go the extra mile or did they end up duct-taping something together?</li></ul>2. We, Not I<ul><li>They asked candidates about their proudest accomplishment, and looked to see if they were giving credit to their team. This was a good filter for whether someone thought of the world in a I-centric way vs a we/team-centric way.</li></ul>

Dropbox company values

The first and most important element of success is building a killer engineering team.

startup

Startups

Hiring for Culture Fit at Facebook & Dropbox

After reviewing hundreds of resumes, and talking to top executives about what they look for in a candidate, it's found that including strong keywords is one of the best ways to stand out.But many people use keywords the wrong way.

Keywords

Lately, the biggest resume mistake I’ve been seeing people make is “keyword stuffing” — or trying to use as many keywords from the job description as possible. Job seekers often do this because they believe the resume scanning software many employers use — known as Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) — automatically rejects resumes that have too few keywords. But the primary function of an ATS is to organize applications and make the hiring process easier for recruiters. It does things like keep track of applicants and interview schedules. It doesn’t actually reject applications.

‘Keyword stuffing’: The No. 1 resume mistake

A simple tip to remember: Use keywords with humans in mind, not machines. That means doing it in a way that is convincing and properly contextualized, rather than awkward or forced.

How to use keywords on your resume

Having an idea of the impression you want the resume reader to walk away with can help you decide what keywords to prioritize. To uncover what makes you special, ask yourself questions like: <ul><li>Is there a specific part of my job that I am better at compared to my peers? </li><li>Looking at my biggest wins, is there a common theme? </li><li>What does that common theme say about my strengths? </li> </ul>

1. Decide what you want the hiring manager to know  before  you start writing.

The most impressive resumes tell the reader how you used your skills to create to quantifiable results. For example, let’s say one of the required skills in a job description is “Microsoft Excel.” Instead of writing “Used Microsoft Excel to track and report load speed data,” write “Leveraged Microsoft Excel to automate load speed insights and decrease weekly reporting time by 50%.”

2. Highlight keywords through your achievements.

A separate skills section is a great place to put keywords that don’t naturally fit under your experience section. I recommend including at least nine key skills and grouping them into columns of three, spread evenly across the top of the resume. We limit ourselves to nine skills total to avoid “keyword stuffing.” You also don’t want to look like “a jack-of-all-trades and master of none.”

3. Keep your skills section short.

A short read about how to improve our resume and avoid a simple mistake

Career expert and recruiter Jermaine L. Murray has helped candidates land jobs at some of the world's biggest companies, including Facebook, Google and Microsoft. He reveals the No. 1 resume mistake he's been seeing lately, and how to fix it.

No. 1 Resume Mistake and How to Fix It

Do the work gives you step-by-step instructions on how to overcome and conquer Resistance - the biggest enemy of them all.Do the work explains who and what your allies are and how to embrace and utilize them in your creative life or in your day  to day situations.

INTRODUCTION 

Start before you're ready

Is it surprising that most people spend their days doing work they don't like instead of the work they want to do?<ul><li>If you put in the time and effort, you can overcome any resistance standing in your way. Happiness and success are the rewards for the persistent pursuit of one's dreams. Your happiness depends on how hard you work.</li><li>That's why many people choose jobs we wouldn't like. We don't feel as much pressure or worry about failing on our jobs because they aren't all that important to us.</li></ul>

THE MORE TIME AND EFFORT YOU PUT INTO A BIG PROJECT, THE MORE RESISTANCE YOU'LL FACE

<ul><li>When we work on something we're interested in, we usually put in more time, effort, skills and abilities.</li><li>It's easy to take a pay check and leave a job that doesn't matter to you, but it's difficult to quit work that care about.</li></ul>

<ul><li>You already have the seed of your creative project planted or growing. But you may think it would be better if you had more time to think about it, </li><li>Do a thorough study weigh pros and cons, and dive right in. </li><li>People never get their ideas off the ground because they think too much. Many individuals regularly engage in this behaviour and fall behind because of it.</li><li>The time to start is before you feel completely prepared. You should do two things iteratively: ACT, REFLECT.</li></ul>

STOP THINKING AND BEGIN WORKING

"Rule of thumb: The more important a call or action is to our soul's evolution, the more Resistance we will feel"

<ul><li>You are not to blame. you can't merely blame your lack of drive, enthusiasm or motivation on these issues. There is nothing wrong with if you've many unfinished projects</li><li>Resistance hurts us emotionally, but it works in a way that is not personal and is natural</li><li>Everyone is feeling its effects. Think about the successful individuals. who's your favourite creative person who makes it seem so easy? All of them also encounter pushback.</li></ul>

YOU'RE NOT ONLY ONE EXPERIENCING RESISTANCE

<ul><li>Nothing hits closer to home than the feeling of having to write, produce a video, or giving a presentation. But it hurts to get halfway through and realize that you have done nothing. </li><li>Since you've spent so much time reading and watching things about your subject, You think you're productive because you've read a few books and watched countless videos. The deadline for your project is near. Yet, you haven't even finished the first chapter.</li><li>If you can identify with this, start including a research diet in your projects. </li></ul>

DEVELOP A RESEARCH DIET

<ul><li>Keeping to a research diet means watching fewer movies. It also means reading fewer interviews and listening to fewer podcasts. </li><li>Instead of dedicating all your time to research, start your tasks. This will help identify the issues and confusions that need to be resolved. It also helps you make meaningful progress with the resources you are using.</li></ul>

<ul><li>Pursuing excellence and consistent practice guarantees some disappointment along the way. If you put yourself out there and don't succeed.</li><li>Working at a job you don't like, the problems you face will seem less severe. But if you are passionate about what you do, it hurts much to encounter setbacks when you've put your heart and soul into your work.</li><li>However, there will be setbacks on the road to success in whichever endeavour you undertake. Although setbacks may be painful, they are still important. They are vital for personal growth, resilience and gaining the right perspective</li></ul>

ALWAYS EXPECT YOU WILL FAIL

<ul><li>If you want to do great things, you can't settle for mediocrity in your job. You could try to get a home run by swinging for the fences instead of bunting or hitting a line drive for a single.</li><li>Do the Work elaborates on the idea that people should act from a position of strength. Turning it down is always an option. You'll never hit a fastball into the upper deck if you don't aim for the seats immediately </li><li> Put aside your worries, doubts. Put your best foot forward, imagine the impossible and make this piece of art the one that defines you.</li></ul>

THINK BIG AND STOP ACTING SMALL

"If we can't finish, all our work is for nothing."

books

Books

Could you be getting in your way of producing great work? Have you started a project but never finished? Would you like to do work that matters, but don't know where to start?The answer is Do the Work, a manifesto by bestselling author Steven Pressfield, that will show you that it’s not about better ideas, it’s about actually doing the work. Do the Work is a weapon against Resistance – a tool that will help you take action and successfully ship projects out the door.“There is an enemy. There is an intelligent, active, malign force working against us. Step one is to recognize this. This recognition alone is enormously powerful. It saved my life, and it will save yours.”Do the Work may be just what you need to get out of your own way.

Steven Pressfield is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Steven Pressfield has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Steven Pressfield's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Steven Pressfield

Do the Work!

<ul><li>Success comes from persistently improving and inventing, not from persistently doing what's not working.</li><li>If you're not saying “HELL YEAH!” about something, <a href="https://sive.rs/hellyeah">say “no.”</a></li><li>Necessity is a great teacher.</li><li>It's counterintuitive, but the way to grow your business is to focus entirely on your existing customers. Just thril them, and they'll tell everyone.</li></ul>

Stop doing what’s not working

<ul><li>You can’t please everyone, so proudly exclude people.</li><li>Proudly say what you're not. It's a big world. You can loudly leave out 99 percent of it.</li><li>You should care about your customers more than you care about yourself!</li><li>That's the Tao of business: Care about your customers more than about yourself, and you'll do well.</li></ul>

It’s okay to exclude people

<ul><li>A business is started to solve a problem. But if the problem was truly solved, that business would no longer be needed! So the business accidentally or unconsciously keeps the problem around so that they can keep solving it for a fee.</li><li>If you set up your business like you don't need the money, people are happier to pay you.</li><li><a href="https://deepstash.com/idea/203934/reciprocity">We want to give to those who give.</a></li></ul>

Act like you don’t need the money

<ul><li>When one customer wrongs you, remember the hundred thousand who did not.</li><li>Please know that it's often the tiny details that really thrill people enough to make them tell all their friends about you.</li><li>If you find even the smallest way to make people smile, they'll remember you more for that smile than for all your other fancy business-model stuff.</li></ul>

The tiny details matter

<ul><li>Being self-employed feels like freedom until you realize that if you take time off, your business crumbles. To be a true business owner, make sure you could leave for a year, and when you came back, your business would be doing better than when you left.</li><li>Anything you hate to do, someone else loves. So find that person and let him do it.</li></ul>

Self-employment vs. business ownership

<ul><li>When you make a business, you get to make a little universe where you create all the laws. </li><li>Never forget that absolutely everything you do is for your customers.</li><li>Be incredibly clear in your writing. Leave no room for confusion.</li><li>Pay close attention to what excites you and what drains you.</li><li>Making a company is a great way to improve the world while improving yourself.</li></ul>

Improve The World While Improving Yourself

<ul><li>Business is not about money. It’s about making dreams come true for others and for yourself.</li><li>Never forget why you’re really doing ,what you’re doing.</li><li>Resist the urge to punish everyone for one person's mistake.</li><li>In the end, it’s about what you want to be, not what you want to have.</li></ul>

Don’t forget why you’re in the game

Derek Sivers best known for creating CD Baby, the most popular music site for independent artists, He chronicles his “accidental” success and failures into this concise and inspiring book on how to create a multi-million dollar company by following your passion…..

You can follow the beaten path and call yourself an entrepreneur or you can blaze your own trail and really be one. When Derek Sivers started CD Baby, he wasn’t planning on building a major business. He was a successful independent musician who just wanted to sell his CDs online. When no one would help him do it, he set out on his own and built an online store from scratch. He started in 1998 by helping his friends sell their CDs. In 2000, he hired his first employee. Eight years later, he sold CD Baby for $22 million. Sivers didn’t need a business plan, and neither do you. You don’t need to think big; in fact, it’s better if you don’t. Start with what you have, care about your customers more than yourself, and run your business like you don’t need the money.

entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship

business

Business

You can follow the beaten path and call yourself an entrepreneur or you can blaze your own trail and really be one. When Derek Sivers started CD Baby, he wasn’t planning on building a major business. He was a successful independent musician who just wanted to sell his CDs online. When no one would help him do it, he set out on his own and built an online store from scratch. He started in 1998 by helping his friends sell their CDs. In 2000, he hired his first employee. Eight years later, he sold CD Baby for $22 million. Sivers didn’t need a business plan, and neither do you. You don’t need to think big; in fact, it’s better if you don’t. Start with what you have, care about your customers more than yourself, and run your business like you don’t need the money.

Derek Sivers is an author of philosophy and entrepreneurship, known for his surprising quotable insights and pithy succinct writing style.Formerly a musician, programmer, TED speaker, and circus clown, he sold his first company for $22 million and gave all the money to charity.Sivers’ books (How to Live, Hell Yeah or No, Your Music and People, Anything You Want) and newest projects are at his website: https://sive.rs/

Derek Sivers

Anything You Want

When you have free time, you have the headspace and bandwidth to pursue new ideas. Free time increases your serendipity surface area.The idea that free time is bad is one of the greatest lies you’ve been told.

Free time is a “call option” on future interesting opportunities

Ideas are executed during periods of work but formed during periods of free time & boredom.<ul><li>Muscle is trained during exercise, but grown during recovery.</li><li>Minds are engaged with togetherness but fortified with solitude.</li></ul>Find balance—find growth.

All growth requires balance

Many of history’s highest achievers were aware of the value of rest:John D. Rockefeller would take regular breaks from his notoriously demanding schedule to mill about in his garden—it was his personal escape.Takeaway: When you sprint, sprint hard. When you rest, rest hard.

The value of rest

It’s an asset, not a liability. It’s not about a “break” from productivity.It’s an integral part of your productivity.

Embrace the role of free time and rest in your life.

In his calendar, work periods were broken up by periods of rest, conversation, reading, and boredom.

Benjamin Franklin’s calendar

We have to reframe rest and recovery as a core part of our daily systems, not a reward for our efforts.We don’t need to “earn” our recovery—it should be a central part of our ritual that allows us to thrive.

A major key to avoiding burnout

<ul><li>Take 15-minute tech-free walks throughout the day to break up blocks of focused work.</li><li>The walk will provide a reset and let your thoughts and ideas mingle.</li><li>The walk is just as much a contributor to the output as the focused work itself.</li></ul>

One idea to try

timemanagement

Time Management

Sahil Bloom: Guilt for free time

If you’re an introvert, striking up a conversation with a stranger at a crowded event might sound like a nightmare. But that’s what networking is all about — and a networking coach says you’re fully capable of mastering the skill. While networking might not be your strong suit, Allen says it’s a skill you can pick up in a few small steps. Here are her seven top tips:

We Need Networking

Small statements that reinforce positive thoughts about yourself can help you get rid of your negative thoughts over time, Allen says — whether you’re fighting harmful misconceptions about introverts or other personal insecurities. Allen recommends writing down your affirmations in a journal, an index card or even somewhere on your phone. Read them as often as possible, especially when you’re having negative thoughts. The result, she says: You’ll start to carry yourself with more confidence, and that will only draw more people to you.

1. Create a few affirmations for yourself

As much as you might want to avoid attending networking events with large groups of people, they’re still a great way to make business connections, Allen says. To ease your stress, ask a close work friend to come along so you can help each other navigate the event — or even approach strangers together if that’s more comfortable, Allen suggests. Try to schedule networking events when you’ll have enough energy to do something that doesn’t come naturally to you. Consider avoiding events right after work, when you might be too tired to put forth your best effort. Allen also recommends creating specific goals to help you make the most of attending. That might mean staying at the venue for at least one hour or getting contact information from at least two people before the event ends.

2. Have a strategy for networking events

After you make those new business connections, the next step is to schedule one-on-one meetings with them. Allen recommends meeting at least one networking connection weekly, for roughly 30 minutes each. Getting to know your new connections better will help you build a network that can help advance your career or business, she says. Try preparing some questions in advance to make the conversation easier, Allen suggests. Focus on learning more about them, their line of work and what advice they may have for you. Be prepared to share information about yourself and your career goals. You’ll come away knowing whether you could work together or assist each other in some way, Allen says.

3. Schedule one-on-ones

Always following up after connecting with someone at an event or one-on-one meeting can make you stand out, Allen says. It’s a simple step that can make others remember you in a positive light.  Send an email, a text message or a handwritten note that thanks them for connecting with you, and either initiates another meetup or lets them know you’ll reach out again in the future. Make it a habit to send those follow-up messages within 24 to 48 hours of connecting, Allen says.

4. Make following up a habit

Social media can’t fully replace networking in person, but it’s a free and “low-energy” alternative that still allows you to make connections and promote your career and business.Some platforms might be more useful than others: People in your industry may be most active on Twitter, while people from another industry might frequently post on LinkedIn.After you’ve connected with someone, send them a direct message thanking them for connecting with you and explaining why you wanted to connect. Then, stay engaged: Regularly post about your ongoing projects or comment on other people’s posts.

5. Take advantage of social media

Remembering people’s names and pronouncing them correctly is a simple way to make a great lasting impression on someone, Allen says. She acknowledges that it can be difficult, so she has a few strategies for what to do after someone introduces themselves to you. Ask them how to correctly pronounce their name, and repeat it back to them to make it easier for your mind to remember. Find a few opportunities to use their name in your conversation with them, she adds: It can make you more personable while increasing your chances of remembering it.

6. Pay attention to names

Smiling may not be appropriate in all situations, but Allen suggests making it a goal to smile more often during conversations with new connections. It’ll make you appear more confident, she says. A <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02699931.2013.817383">2013 study </a>by researchers in Switzerland presented different faces with varying happiness to a group of participants. They found that participants preferred faces with a stronger smile.  “Everybody appreciates the smile,” Allen says. “I would love more introverts to get out there and show your smile because it will only help you make those connections you want.”

7. Don’t forget the power of a smile

You will networking anyways, so why dont try these tips.

Introverts may struggle more with networking than extroverts. Professional networking coach Jevonya Allen says these seven tips can help.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

7 steps introverts can take to become 'master networkers'

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Mentor - someone further along than you are (better in business, marriage, psychology, etc.)</li><li class="ql-align-justify">They must be on your top 5; because you'll probably be the 6th (you are the average of the top 5 people you hang out most with)</li><li class="ql-align-justify">They make you up your game</li><li class="ql-align-justify">They put you in the right frame of mind (make you see a negative as an opportunity and make it a positive; makes you think differently)</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Make you take action (extra level of accountability)</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Help you make decisions (they've been there; avoids trial and error; don't make their same mistakes)</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Save you time and energy; make you more money</li></ul>

Get Yourself A Mentor 

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Maintain your motivation (whenever you hang out with millionaires you get motivated to be like them)</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Open you up to their circle of friends (extremely successful people)</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Tells you secrets about life, business, etc.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Shortens your learning curve</li></ul>

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Find a free mentor - You can search the internet, follow successful people, watch youtube videos of them sharing wisdom, or it could be anyone you know who is wise </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Networking - put yourself out there, attend seminars, meet ups, search the internet or your locality etc.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Paid mentor - feels accountable for your success and provide results (it's not instant, it could take you 6 months down the road and you need to cooperate)</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Put yourself out there, be around people who are better, holds u accountable, and makes you think bigger, and your life will change.</li></ul>

How To Get A Mentor

Episode 415 - It's not what you know, it's who you know. Great mentors can be one of the biggest keys to your success. In this episode I break down the importance of a great mentor and how to find that person today.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Mindset Mentor - Can Mentors Change Your Life?

It's okay to be alone. But not okay to be lonely.

Daily reminder: You're not useless.You're not different. You're notdumb. You're not compared toanyone. Because... You're loved.You're smart. You're the best versionof YOU there ever is and you'rehuman.

<ul><li>This is how our ancestors formed their relationships, because humans lived in  small, close knit communities in which options for making friends were limited,  so we just formed good relationships with the people who were around us.</li><li>This is why it is so easy to form new friendships in school and university. Society locks you and  your peers in a building for several years. You share similar activities but more importantly:  </li><li>Similar schedules. Overlapping and fluctuating social circles  form naturally giving you regular facetime and shared experiences with many different people.  </li></ul>

Spend Casual Times Together.

<ul><li>This alone can make it happen automatically and trumps all other advice.</li><li>But don’t forget that making friends is not a numbers game or a competition,  don’t compare yourself to others. </li><li>Everyone has a social calibrator that can change as  you go through life. Maybe you were more introverted as a teen but yearn  for connection in your twenties. Maybe you were part of sprawling social circles but  prefer fewer friends in your thirties. There is no right or wrong, only right for you.</li></ul>

Spend time with people in the real world.

<ul><li>The reasons why you find yourself with less connection than you want are as diverse as people,  but the underlying cause is almost always: Time.</li><li>There is no shortcut. To make new friends and retain friendships you have to prioritize  relationships, spend time with people in real life and make them feel that  you care. So take a look at yourself and rebalance what you spend your life doing.</li></ul>

Prioritize Your Relationship With Your Friends 

<ul><li>Caring and sharing. In general, our favorite topic is ourselves and the things we care about,  because we are literally at the center of our own universe. So People tend to  like people who are genuinely interested in them. So if you want to make friends,  your goal should be trying to learn what makes them tick.</li><li>Just as important as caring about others is reciprocity and openness. To connect  you need to share the experiences that made you, you. </li></ul>

Open Up: Care and Share

<ul><li>Now you don’t want to overwhelm  the other person and immediately spill out your deepest secrets. But open up a little  and reveal personal things – because this also signals to others that it is ok to do  the same. </li><li>The best case is that you find shared experiences – maybe you  both had a hard time in school, maybe you share a passion for weird movies.</li><li>Learning about others and sharing personal stories in a balanced way and not overdoing it,  is not an exact science. Noticing the line between opening up and oversharing  requires practice and depends on the vibe of the conversation.</li></ul>

But...

One of the perplexities of life is that to get something,  it can be helpful to convince yourself that you want it less than you do. In general it is good to be laid back,  have fun and enjoy yourself. Do things for yourself without expectations,  but also be open to social opportunities and accept invitations if they show up.And that's basically it.

Do things for yourself without expectations

As with all important things in life,  making friends is infuriatingly simple but   not necessarily easy. But it works through  a few pretty straight forward mechanisms

We want to be part of your friendship journey, so we’ve created a few things you can share with new and old friends: https://kgs.link/friendship_collection Sources & further reading: https://sites.google.com/view/sources-friendship/ Friends make life good. They provide the scaffolding that makes it not just bearable but fun. They give us a sense of meaning and purpose and are a source of security, self esteem and happiness. Almost nothing predicts how happy you will be as how connected you feel and a lack of social connection is associated with a number of diseases and a shorter life. But maybe you have scrolled through your phone, unsure who to call to go to a movie with, to celebrate with or ask for comfort. You may realize that you don’t have enough friends and feel lonely. And it is not just you. Disconnectedness and loneliness are widespread. Many people want more close friends but don’t know how to get them. OUR CHANNELS ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ German: https://kgs.link/youtubeDE Spanish: https://kgs.link/youtubeES French: https://kgs.link/youtubeFR Portuguese: https://kgs.link/youtubePT Arabic: https://kgs.link/youtubeAR Hindi: https://kgs.link/youtubeHI Japanese: https://kgs.link/youtubeJA Korean: https://kgs.link/youtubeKO HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT US? ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ This is how we make our living and it would be a pleasure if you support us! Get Prodcuts designed with ❤ https://shop-us.kurzgesagt.org Join the Patreon Bird Army 🐧 https://kgs.link/patreon DISCUSSIONS & SOCIAL MEDIA ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ TikTok: https://kgs.link/tiktok Reddit: https://kgs.link/reddit Instagram: https://kgs.link/instagram Twitter: https://kgs.link/twitter Facebook: https://kgs.link/facebook Discord: https://kgs.link/discord Newsletter: https://kgs.link/newsletter OUR VOICE ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ The Kurzgesagt voice is from Steve Taylor: https://kgs.link/youtube-voice OUR MUSIC ♬♪ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 700+ minutes of Kurzgesagt Soundtracks by Epic Mountain: Spotify: https://kgs.link/music-spotify Soundcloud: https://kgs.link/music-soundcloud Bandcamp: https://kgs.link/music-bandcamp Youtube: https://kgs.link/music-youtube Facebook: https://kgs.link/music-facebook The Soundtrack of this video: Soundcloud: https://bit.ly/3BgSE4e Bandcamp: https://bit.ly/3AIeV9i If you want to help us caption this video, please send subtitles to subtitle@kurzgesagt.org You can find info on what subtitle files work on YouTube here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/2734698?hl=en-GB&ref_topic=7296214 Thank you! 🐦🐧🐤 PATREON BIRD ARMY 🐤🐧🐦 ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ Many Thanks to our wonderful Patreons (from http://kgs.link/patreon) who support us every month and made this video possible: Marius Kawahara-Lieben, Matt Smith, Brittany Grace, Autumn Weddell, SULTAN ALVI ALADIN, Arlent M. Gomez Rodriguez, Alec Kwei, Spencer Humbles, Maxime Dessus, Brittany Huskey, 승민 옥, Corbin Rowland, Danou Nauck, Marcos Pineda Burriel, David Fellner, david, Matthew Hart, Guillaume Danset, Fernando Fuentes Torres, Dan Wahl, Moycat, Anakha, Robert, Idan Efrati, Lynette Guck, ANTLANTEANS yt, Daniel Chiaramonte, RavenFireWarlock, timmy master daniel, Xaver Sichart, Tinerol, Sosarmar Jutawanich, ArtTwilightah, Christoph Broecker, sodeno, M&M, Jesse, Jonathan Zilka, madlycurbonato, Min Soo Kim, Markus Käppeli, Pedro, Cornelius Lawson, Adrián Burgos Berral, Nicolas Mignard, Mathias Müller, Ifad Ardin, Hunter Sidsworth

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

We want to be part of your friendship journey, so we’ve created a few things you can share with new and old friends: https://kgs.link/shop-166

Sources & further reading:
https://sites.google.com/view/sources-friendship/

Friends make life good. They provide the scaffolding that makes it not just bearable but fun. They give us a sense of meaning and purpose and are a source of security, self esteem and happiness. Almost nothing predicts how happy you will be as how connected you feel and a lack of social connection is associated with a number of diseases and a shorter life.

But maybe you have scrolled through your phone, unsure who to call to go to a movie with, to celebrate with or ask for comfort. You may realize that you don’t have enough friends and feel lonely. And it is not just you. Disconnectedness and loneliness are widespread. 

Many people want more close friends but don’t know how to get them.


OUR CHANNELS
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
German:        https://kgs.link/youtubeDE
Spanish:        https://kgs.link/youtubeES
French:          https://kgs.link/youtubeFR
Portuguese:  https://kgs.link/youtubePT
Arabic:           https://kgs.link/youtubeAR
Hindi:             https://kgs.link/youtubeHI
Japanese:     https://kgs.link/youtubeJA
Korean:          https://kgs.link/youtubeKO


HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT US?
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
This is how we make our living and it would be a pleasure if you support us!

Get Prodcuts designed with ❤ https://kgs.link/shop-166  
Join the Patreon Bird Army 🐧  https://kgs.link/patreon  


DISCUSSIONS & SOCIAL MEDIA
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
TikTok:           https://kgs.link/tiktok
Reddit:            https://kgs.link/reddit
Instagram:     https://kgs.link/instagram
Twitter:           https://kgs.link/twitter
Facebook:      https://kgs.link/facebook
Discord:          https://kgs.link/discord
Newsletter:    https://kgs.link/newsletter


OUR VOICE
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
The Kurzgesagt voice is from 
Steve Taylor:  https://kgs.link/youtube-voice


OUR MUSIC ♬♪
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
700+ minutes of Kurzgesagt Soundtracks by Epic Mountain:

Spotify:            https://kgs.link/music-spotify
Soundcloud:   https://kgs.link/music-soundcloud
Bandcamp:     https://kgs.link/music-bandcamp
Youtube:          https://kgs.link/music-youtube
Facebook:       https://kgs.link/music-facebook

The Soundtrack of this video:
Soundcloud: https://bit.ly/3BgSE4e
Bandcamp: https://bit.ly/3AIeV9i

If you want to help us caption this video, please send subtitles to subtitle@kurzgesagt.org
You can find info on what subtitle files work on YouTube here:
https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/2734698?hl=en-GB&ref_topic=7296214
Thank you!

🐦🐧🐤 PATREON BIRD ARMY 🐤🐧🐦
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
Many Thanks to our wonderful Patreons (from http://kgs.link/patreon) who support us every month and made this video possible:
Marius Kawahara-Lieben, Matt Smith, Brittany Grace, Autumn Weddell, SULTAN ALVI ALADIN, Arlent M. Gomez Rodriguez, Alec Kwei, Spencer Humbles, Maxime Dessus, Brittany Huskey, 승민 옥, Corbin Rowland, Danou Nauck, Marcos Pineda Burriel, David Fellner, david, Matthew Hart, Guillaume Danset, Fernando Fuentes Torres, Dan Wahl, Moycat, Anakha, Robert, Idan Efrati, Lynette Guck, ANTLANTEANS yt, Daniel Chiaramonte, RavenFireWarlock, timmy master daniel, Xaver Sichart, Tinerol, Sosarmar Jutawanich, ArtTwilightah, Christoph Broecker, sodeno, M&M, Jesse, Jonathan Zilka, madlycurbonato, Min Soo Kim, Markus Käppeli, Pedro, Cornelius Lawson, Adrián Burgos Berral, Nicolas Mignard, Mathias Müller, Ifad Ardin, Hunter Sidsworth

Animation videos explaining things with optimistic nihilism since 12,013.

We’re a team of illustrators, animators, number crunchers and one dog who aim to spark curiosity about science and the world we live in. To us nothing is boring if you tell a good story.

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Why You Are Lonely and How to Make Friends

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