When it comes to writing, having a plan is key. If you don’t have a roadmap for your project, you will likely get lost along the way.

HAVING A PLAN

One way to develop a writing habit is to set a goal for yourself. You can aim to write a certain number of words or pages each day/week/month. Start small and gradually build up.

Set A Goal 

If you want to write, you need to make time for it. Block out a specific time each day or week to write. Making writing a priority makes you more likely to develop a regular writing habit.

Block Time For Writing 

Some people find it helpful to write first thing in the morning, while others prefer to write in the evening. Some people like to write at a specific time each day, while others are more flexible. Similarly, some people like to write at home, while others prefer to write in a cafe or other public place.

Find a time and place that works for you

Don’t try to force yourself to write if you’re not feeling inspired. Wait until you have an idea that you’re excited to write about.

Write when you’re inspired

Finding a writing community is important for a few reasons: <ol><li>It can be helpful to have other writers to talk to and share ideas with. </li><li>It can be beneficial to get feedback on your work from other writers. </li><li>It can be motivating to be part of a group of people who are also working on their writing. </li> </ol>

Finding a writing community

How to Write Faster by Creating a Writing Habit: The Ultimate Guide

Creating a writing habit can be difficult, but it’s definitely worth it in the long run. Writing is a skill that takes time and practice to perfect, but developing a writing habit will help you…

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

writing

Reading & Writing

communication

Communication

Emojis are not hieroglyphics.<ul><li>Language has moved from more concrete characters to less concrete versions, allowing humans to communicate abstract concepts. But most signs point to emojis lacking the characteristics of a true language. For example, when given a string of emojis, two people will not always interpret them the same way.</li><li>Emojis cannot be combined in ways that function as a true linguistic system, meaning that, although they are a helpful bunch of symbols, they aren’t a particular, conventionalized system for representing abstract meaning, like English or Japanese or ASL.</li></ul>

Communicative System vs. Hieroglyphics vs. Language

If you adhere to the strictest definition of language, emojis definitely do not make the cut. However, if you define a language as “a system of words or signs that people use to express thoughts and feelings to each other,” emojis have a chance.Whether or not they can replace English or any other formal language, emojis have evolved into a meaningful communicative system, allowing users worldwide to express feelings, thoughts, and ideas in new visual ways. They represent an interesting and deeply entertaining evolution of language worldwide.

Emojis: An Interesting Evolution of Language

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

Are Emojis Language?

“People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude.”

When you make a commitment, you create hope. When you keep a commitment, you create trust.

Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence on them.
The principles to develop this skill include:
<ul>
<li>Find common ground</li>
<li>Keep your communication simple</li>
<li>Create an enjoyable and interesting experience</li>
<li>Inspire people</li>
<li>Stay authentic in your communication.</li>
</ul>

Key Principles To Develop The Crucial Skill Of Connecting

If you want to be successful in connecting with people, you need to make sure your communication goes beyond words, by connecting on four levels.<ul><li>Visually: You have seven seconds to make the right first impression.</li><li>Intellectually: To connect with people intellectually you must know two things: your subject and yourself.</li><li>Emotionally: People may hear your words but they feel your attitude.</li><li>Verbally: Words are the currency of ideas and have the power to change the world.</li></ul>

Connecting Goes Beyond Words

“People don’t remember what we think is important; they remember what they think is important.”

“If you want to get your message across, you have to learn how to communicate in someone else’s world.”

Constantly strive to simplify the complicated concepts and processes so you can make them accessible for the audience.
Don't try to impress the people in the room but to transfer information and to help make things understandable.

Keeping Your Communication Simple

<ul><li>Humor is something that will make the audience laugh and put them in a receptive mood. </li><li>Heart will captivate people’s emotions and get them engaged with your message. </li><li>Hope will inspire the audience and move them toward an objective. </li><li>Help is something that will assist the listener in some practical way as they listen and envision applying what you are sharing.</li></ul>

Humor, Heart, Hope, Help

“Even the choicest words lose their power when they are used to overpower.”

<ul><li>Assumption. "I already know what others know, feel and want."</li><li>Arrogance. "I don’t need to know what others know, feel or want."</li><li>Indifference. "I don’t care to know what others know, feel or want."</li><li>Control. "I don’t want others to know what I know, feel or want."</li></ul>

Top Four Barriers to Finding Common Ground

World-renowned leadership expert and bestselling author John C. Maxwell says if you want to be an effective leader, you must learn how to connect with people. While it may seem like some folks are just born with a commanding presence that draws people in, the fact is anyone can learn to communicate in ways that consistently build powerful connections. Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, helps you succeed by revealing Maxwell’s Five Principles and Five Practices to develop this crucial skill of connecting, including: finding common ground, keeping your communication simple, capturing people's interest, inspiring people, and staying authentic in all your relationships. Your ability to achieve results in any organization--be it a company, church, nonprofit, or even in your family--is directly tied to the leadership skills in your toolbox. Connecting is an easy-to-learn skill you can apply today in your personal, professional, and family relationships to start living your best life.

career

Career

books

Books

The most effective leaders know how to connect with people. It's not about power or popularity, but about making the people around you feel heard, comfortable, and understood.While it may seem like some folks are born with a commanding presence that draws people in, the fact is anyone can learn to communicate in ways that consistently build powerful connections. Bestselling author and leadership expert John C. Maxwell offers advice for effective communication to those who continually run into obstacles when it comes to personal success.In Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, Maxwell shares five principles and five practices to develop connection skills including:<ul><li>finding common ground;</li><li>keeping your communication simple;</li><li>capturing people’s interest;</li><li>how to create an experience everyone enjoys;</li><li>and staying authentic in all your relationships.</li></ul>Your ability to achieve results in any organization is directly tied to the leadership skills in your toolbox. Connecting is an easy-to-learn skill you can apply today in your personal, professional, and family relationships to start living your best life.

John Calvin Maxwell is an American author, speaker, and pastor who has written many books, primarily focusing on leadership. Titles include The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership and The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. His books have sold millions of copies, with some on the New York Times Best Seller List.

John C. Maxwell

Everyone Communicates, Few Connect

“Prime your environment to make the next action easy.”

“You can't double your intelligence in one hour, but you can use one hour to write something twice as clear. And ideas that are easy to read and easy to understand will make you seem smarter. The better you communicate, the more intelligent you appear.”

“Your entire life happens inside your body. It's the one home you will always occupy and can never sell.But you can renovate it.If you can only pick one habit to build, exercise might be the one. Everything is downstream from how your body is functioning.”

“Think of many things. Do one.”

“I believe in anger. Anger’s like fire, it can burn out all the dross and leave some positive things. But what I don’t believe in is bitterness. Forgiveness is imperative because you don’t want to carry that weight around, who needs to? And it will throw you down. It doesn’t help you to live life. I don’t make myself vulnerable if I can help it.”

Think of something you struggled with in the last year. If you step back and zoom out, what is one lesson you have learned from the experience?

1 Question For You

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

habits

Habits

3-2-1: Doubling your intelligence, zooming out, and finding value in anger

This self help guide teaches us that the key to being happier is to stop trying to be positive all the time and instead to become better at handling adversity.FUCK POSITIVITY!Sometimes things are fucked up and we have to accept it.This book will correct your delusional expectations of yourself and the world. Its like a guide to suffering better, more meaningfully with compassion and humility.I recommend it to anybody stuck in the feedback loop from hell, which is the psychological epidemic making many of us overly stressed, overly neurotic and overly self loathing.

A Book About Hope 

Life itself is a form of suffering. The rich suffer because of their riches. The poor suffer because of their poverty.People without a family suffer because they have no family. People with a family suffer because of their family.People who pursue wordly pleasures suffer because of their worldly pleasures.People who abstain from wordly pleasures suffer because of their abstention.

Most of us struggle through life giving way too many fucks in situations where fucks dont deserve to be given.Your going to die some day. In the short time you have here, if you go round giving a fuck about everything and everyone, you are going to get fucked.Learn to prioritise and pick and choose what is fuckworthy to you based on finely honed personal values.Its part of our biology to give a fuck but when you give too many fucks you become entitled to be comfortable and happy all the time, as if everything is supposed to be exactly the fucking way you want. This is a sickness.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck

Honesty is communication with no conditions, no strings attached, no ulterior motive, no sales job, no desperate attempt to be liked.When things suck, you say so openly and without apology.

Being open to your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others.

Reserve your fucks for what truly matters.

Suffering is biologically useful as it is natures preferred agent for inspiring change. We are wired to become dissatisfied with whatever we have and satisfied by only what we don't have.Problems will never fucking go away. They just get exchanged and upgraded. Life is an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is merely the creation of the next one.Negative emotions are a call to action. If you feel crappy, your brain is telling you there is an unresolved problem for you to address.Happiness comes from solving these problems.

Happiness Is A Problem

Without conflict, there can be no trust.Conflict exists to show us who is there for us unconditionally and who is just there for the benefits.

It is the norm in Western cultures to smile and say polite things even when you don't feel like it, to tell white lies and agree with someone you don't actually agree with. People learn to pretend to be friends with people they don't actually like.The downside of this is that you never know if you can completely trust the person you're talking to. There is a pressure in the West to be likable that people often reconfigure their entire personality depending on the person they're dealing with.Honesty is a natural human craving. Part of living honestly is becoming comfortable with the word 'NO'.

The Importance Of Saying No

Decision making based on emotional intuition, without the aid of reason to keep it in line, pretty much always sucks. You know who bases their entire lives on their emotions? Three year old kids.And dogs.You know what else three year olds and dogs do? Shit on the carpet.

If you've got a problem, chances are millions of other people have had it in the past, have it now, and are going to in the future. This doesn't minimise your problem, it just means that you are not special.The first step towards solving your problems is to acknowledge the realisation that your problems are actually not privileged in their severity and pain.When we experience real traumatic shit, we believe we are uniquely special, that we are somehow unlike everyone else, that the rules are different for us.We become entitled.

You Are Not Special

If everyone were extraordinary, then by definition no one would be extraordinary.

The majority of life is unextraordinary, indeed quite average.Having the Internet, social media sites and hundred plus TV channels is amazing. But this flood of extreme information has conditioned us to believe that exceptionalism is the new normal.Technology and mass marketing is screwing up alot of peoples expectations.We end up feeling like losers because a simple Google search shows us thousands of people without the same problems as us. Technology has solved old economic problems by giving us new psychological problems. The Internet has opensourced insecurity, self doubt and shame.

The Tyranny Of Exceptionalism

Values underlie everything we are and do.If what we value is unhelpful, if what we consider success/failure is poorly chosen, then everything based upon those values - the thoughts, emotions and day to day feelings - will be out of whack. Everything we think and feel about a situation ultimately comes back to how valuable we percieve it to be.

Nobody makes it through life without collecting a few scars along the way -<ul><li>Psychiatric disorders</li><li>Struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts</li><li>Having been subjected to abuse or neglect</li><li>Dealt with a tragedy or death of a loved one</li><li>Survived a serious heath issue</li><li>Accidents</li><li>Traumatic situations</li></ul>Nobody else is ever responsible for the situation you are in. Someone else may be to blame for your unhappiness, but nobody is ever responsible for your unhappiness except your self. This is because you always get to choose how you see things, how you react and how you value them.

Genetics And The Hand We're Dealt

And because you and I and everybody else all have differing needs and personal histories and life circumstances, we will all inevitably come to differing correct answers about what our lives mean and how they should be lived.

Todays culture is obsessed with unrealistically positive expectations.<ul><li>Be happier</li><li>Be the best</li><li>Be smarter</li><li>Be richer</li><li>Be sexier</li><li>More powerful</li><li>More productive</li><li>More admired</li></ul>Be perfect and amazing and shit out 12 karat gold nuggets before breakfast while kissing your selfie ready partner before flying off to work in a helicopter to your wonderfully fulfilling job, where u spend the day doing incredibly meaningful work that will save the planet.Conventional life advice hightlights your percieved shortcomings and failures, resulting in you feeling like a failure as though you aren't successful enough.

Dont Try

The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.

When any result is regarded as progress and important, we propel ourselves ahead. We feel free to fail and that failure moves us forward.The do something principle helps us to overcome procrastination. That something can be the smallest viable action toward something else. It can be anything.Just do something. Start simple. Thats all thats necessary to get the snowball rolling, the action needed to inspire the motivation to keep going.

Failure Is The Way Forward

Ultimately, the only way to achieve meaning and a sense of importance in ones life is through a rejection of alternatives, a narrowing of freedom, a choice of commitment to one place, one belief or (gulp) one person.

People in a healthy relationship have strong boundaries and take responsibility for their own values and problems.People in a toxic relationship with poor or no boundaries will regularly avoid responsibility for their own problems and take responsibility for their partners problems.Entitled people expect others to take responsibility for their problems.'I want a nice relaxing break. You should have known and canceled your plans'.This is avoiding accepting responsibility for their own problems, resulting in fragile fake relationships.

Boundries

The victim creates more and more problems to solve - not because additional real problems exist, but because it gets her attention and affection she craves.The saver solves and solves - not because she actually cares about the problems, but because she believes she must fix others' problems in order to deserve attention and affection for herself. In both cases, the intentions are selfish and conditional and therefore self-sabotaging, and genuine love is rarely experienced.

You stand in front of the mirror repeating affirmations saying that you're beautiful because you feel as though you're not beautiful already.

No truly happy person feels the need to stand in front of the mirror and recite that she's happy. She just is.

Death is the only thing we can know with any certainty.

In life we have a limited amount of fucks to give. Time ticks away. So choose your fucks wisely. A book worth gifting, to your self, and to those around you.

#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 1 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

mindfulness

Mindfulness

mentalhealth

Mental Health

longevity

Longevity

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Trust can help bring us closer to other people. Trusting others, such as family members and friends, can reassure us that we’ll be helped when we need it. It’s the foundation of any healthy relationship — including the relationship you have with yourself.

Overview

Trusting yourself can build up your confidence, make it easier for you to make decisions, and reduce your stress levels. And the good news is that even if you don’t trust yourself now, with some effort you can build up that trust over time.

Confidence

There’s no one more important to trust than yourself. Sometimes we lose trust in ourselves after we make a mistake or after someone criticizes us harshly or constantly. It can feel more difficult to make decisions when you can’t trust yourself because you fear you’ll make the wrong choice. Or you might be more prone to criticizing your own decisions after you make them.

Tips for building trust in yourself

Building trust in yourself can help boost your decision-making skills and self-confidence. This can make life feel a little easier and much more enjoyable. Here are some tips to help you learn how to trust yourself:

If you fear how others will look at you or judge you, you might find it difficult to be yourself around other people. Acting like a different person than who you really are is a sign that you’re lacking self-confidence and trust in yourself. Other people will be able to sense that.

1. Be yourself

So how do you build up your trust enough to be yourself around others? When you start to feel insecure around others, remind yourself that it’s OK to be you. Start by practicing around the people you feel most comfortable with, like your friends and close family. Take note if you feel vulnerable or uncomfortable and keep spending time with these people until your insecure feelings start to disappear.Once you can be yourself around other people, they’ll treat you with more trust. This can help you build up your trust in yourself.

Often, we aim high with our goals. Instead of aiming to make $50,000 a year from our job, we aim to make $100,000. Instead of trying to complete a project in two weeks, we try to do it in one week. And setting our goals high can be a good thing, because it motivates us to work hard for what we want.

2. Set reasonable goals

Unfortunately, setting goals that are too ambitious has a major downside. When we don’t reach our big goals, we experience failure. Failing often can reduce your self-confidence and ability to trust yourself.Instead of setting one big goal, try setting many little goals that put you in the direction of your big goal. Doing so will make your big goal more realistic. You’ll also gain confidence and trust in yourself while accomplishing the smaller goals along the way.

You’ve probably heard the term “unconditional love.” Maybe it’s been mentioned in relation to the connection a parent has with their child, or the love that exists between siblings, friends, or even romantic partners. But did you know that it’s also very important to love yourself unconditionally?

3. Be kind to yourself

Loving yourself unconditionally means getting rid of negative thoughts about yourself and any self-criticism after you make a mistake. Start by keeping a close eye on your inner voice, and how it reacts to your actions. Is it kind or mean? Is it accepting or critical? When you can love yourself unconditionally, you can trust yourself unconditionally. And that builds confidence.

Everyone is better at some things and worse at others. You probably have a good idea of what things you excel at and which things you don’t do as well with. Trusting yourself means being able to attempt to do all kinds of things without judging yourself too harshly.

4. Build on your strengths

However, if you’re looking to build trust in yourself, it can be helpful to do more of the things that you’re good at and less of the things that you aren’t great at. If you’re not sure what you’re good at, ask those people closest to you. Spend more time doing those things and building your trust knowing you’ll excel at those things. Be accepting of your strengths, as well as your weaknesses.

When you don’t trust yourself, you might feel uncomfortable spending time looking inward. You might try to keep busy all day by constantly getting involved in activities or thinking about small things outside of yourself. Break the habit of looking away from yourself by patiently looking inward.

5. Spend time with yourself

You can look in with meditation. Try sitting with yourself in a quiet place for 5 to 15 minutes each day. Pay close attention to your breath and body. As any thoughts or self-criticisms pass by, acknowledge them and then let them go. Allowing time for this important one-on-one with yourself can build up your self-trust.

We lack trust in ourselves when we question our actions or decisions. Sometimes we might even question who we are. That can hurt.Build trust in yourself by breaking your habit of questioning your decisions. Next time you make a choice, stick with it. Even if it turns out not to be the best choice, there’s no use beating yourself up over the decision you made.

6. Be decisive

The best you can do is to learn from your mistake. Believe that you’ll make a better choice next time, and move on. Doing so will help you learn to be more trusting of yourself and your decision-making skills.

Trusting yourself is one of the most helpful things you can do for you in your life. It can help build your confidence, allow others to trust you more, and make the process of decision making much easier. To trust yourself, all you need is to make a little effort, create self-love, and find the ability to look inward.

The bottom line

Building trust in yourself is the key idea before doing anything that is worthwhile to own self and for others. I struggle with it a lot, for my personal goals, my friends help me to stay on track. Thank you and I love you all :)

Trusting yourself can build up your confidence, make it easier for you to make decisions, and reduce your stress levels. And the good news is that even if you don’t trust yourself now, with some effort you can build up that trust over time. Here are some tips to help you learn how to trust yourself.

6 Ways to Build Trust in Yourself

There are so many benefits to speaking up at work and making yourself heard: You gain visibility, increase your influence, and enhance your credibility and social capital — all of which are needed to succeed at work. Yet, many young professionals don’t speak up.But as a newcomer, you also want to prove that you aren’t completely raw. From understanding how meetings are run to reading your boss — being new requires a level of focus to unlearn the norms of your former job and train yourself on “the way things are done” at this organization.

The Newcomer And Speaking Up At Work

What you don’t realize is that when you’re early in your career or new to an organization, you are often a great source of information, as you can more easily identify inefficiencies that longtime employees overlook.<ul><li>We believe we are novices and don't want to rock the boat.</li><li>We believe speaking up is just a one-time event. In reality we have to speak up every day to make any real change happen.</li><li>We believe our ideas have to be new and innovative for us to be heard.</li></ul>

What We Get Wrong About Speaking Up

The first step to effectively speaking up is doing pre-work. Think about who needs to hear your idea or opinion, and why would it matter to them. Speak with other team members, peers, or mentors who have been around longer to gain their perspective before bringing your idea to your boss (or another stakeholder).

Do Your Homework

Not all ideas have to be shared at a formal meeting. Sometimes, a lunch with the team member or a coffee catch-up with your boss is a better option. When considering the time and place to speak up, think about the following: <ul><li>What frame of mind is the other person in? </li><li>Are they working on a project that may have them thinking about the issue that you want to speak up about? </li><li>Are they having the mental bandwidth?</li><li>Who else needs to be around to amplify your ideas and to give it credibility? Are they available?</li><li>Is it the kind of idea that will catch your boss by surprise, or would it be 'on topic'?</li></ul>

See The Idea From All Aspects

<ul><li>To speak up and make it count, you need to do some pre-work. Think about who needs to hear your idea or opinion, and why would it matter to them. You could also speak to your peers to gain perspective.</li><li>Next, think about the time and place to bring up your idea, as well as your tone. Should you speak up during the meeting, or have a one-on-one instead? Is your manager tied up with other critical issues?</li></ul>

Take Action

Learn how to strategically frame your suggestions. Are you pointing out everything that’s wrong or suggesting ways to improve upon a process or system?Share your idea not as the “only perfect solution” but as an alternative perspective.You could say:<ul><li>I would like to build upon/add to what you said…</li><li>I would like to present another perspective that might help us refine…</li><li>I see the benefit in what you’re suggesting, but maybe we could consider making the following additions to that and here is why…</li></ul>

Framing Your Suggestions

Present your idea as an alternative, sharing the pros and cons, and connecting it back to the larger team goals.An inclusive voice shows both confidence and humility.  Confidence portrays that your arguments and logic are backed by supporting rationale, evidence, facts, and persuasive examples. Humility, on the other hand, is shown by presenting your idea as an alternative, sharing the pros and cons, and connecting it back to the larger team goals. To practice humility, use collective pronouns such as “we/us/our” versus personal references such as “I/my.”

Humility

You were hired for your “new” perspective

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Don’t Let “Being New” Stop You From Speaking Up

Business leaders find initiating and navigating difficult conversations a common challenge. Regardless of different communication styles, leaders can use a five-step process to improve communication by combining kindness and candour.

Initiate and navigate difficult conversations

Gary Vaynerchuk's natural tendency is to lead with trust: He is confident to give trust instead of having it earned. That comes with giving people the benefit of the doubt, and it connects and grows trust. However, there is a difference between giving people the benefit of the doubt and making excuses for them.

Acknowledge your default position

When you exclude kindness and candour, you risk damaging your company culture. If you are too upfront, you could appear as a mean-spirited bully, and if you are too kind, you can be viewed as a push-over. Gary says that he had to address his lack of candour. He was using his desire to be kind as an excuse to avoid difficult conversations. Avoiding the issue could send the wrong message.

Understand the impact of your behaviour

Your beliefs shape how you approach kindness and candour. Gary believed that everyone was doing their best and nobody would try to manipulate a situation to their advantage. Kindness in the workplace creates a safer environment, but it can't replace addressing performance issues and workplace conflict.

Explore your underlying beliefs

Paying attention to how we communicate and how other's respond to us can help us learn where we need to improve. When we take responsibility for our behaviour when we've made a mistake, we show that we are accountable. It allows others to trust us, provided that we take steps to change our behaviour.

Take responsibility for your approach

Kindness and candour don't have to be in an antagonistic relationship. You can combine them. Practising a new way of communicating will not always be perfect. Finding a good balance between kindness and candour will take time and is where you will find the magic.

Find your balance

Combining kindness and candour can help to be an even more effective communicator.

How to combine kindness and candor to be an even more effective communicator.

Gary Vaynerchuk on the Power of Kind Candor

Most of us go through things in life that we almost always rarely share with our workmates and often just opt to fake a smile and say "I'm fine" in order to avoid talking about the subject.However, the first step to increasing job satisfaction and supporting our mental health we have to open up. Vulnerability is scary, but being able to talk about something that matters to you will most certainly lift a burden off of our shoulders.

Approaching Emotional Conversations in the Workplace

When we check up on our colleague and ask how we're doing, how sincere are we when asking? It's likely that we do care with a certain percentage but not 100%. It's important that we learn proper supportive language because it is how we respond to what they tell us is that makes the largest impact on the conversation.

How Leaders Should Approach Emotional Conversations

<ul><li>“What do you have to be sad about?” or “You shouldn’t be sad, you have an excellent job/family/etc.” — This is dismissive phrasing</li><li>“Everyone feels like that sometimes” to “There’s nothing to worry about.” — This is minimization</li><li>“Hey, it could be worse!” or “That’s just a ‘first-world problem.’” — This is what negation sounds like</li><li>“You shouldn’t worry” or “You just need to get more sleep.” — Prescribing solutions aren't the way to go; and</li><li>“Just look at the bright side!” or “Everything happens for a reason!” — Positivity can become unproductive when it's the only option offered</li></ul>

Emotionally dismissive language sounds like...

<ul><li>"I can see why this is exhausting" or "I believe you" — words of validation during a difficult time can bring comfort</li><li>"Tell me more about that" — shows that we seek to understand, we care, and that we want to learn more so we can try to do more for them</li><li>"How can I best support you right now?" "Would X be helpful?" — When asking them or suggesting a way to support them can make the process of handling easier</li><li>"Thank you for telling me this and I appreciate that you allowed yourself to be vulnerable to me" — This enforces a sense of security they could be needing</li></ul>

Emotionally supportive language sounds like...

As we continue into the new chapters of navigating constant uncertainty, do you want to be the leader who adds to the weight or the one who makes it a little lighter?

As I go through a period of uncertainty in my life, I want to share how I have emotional conversations in the workplace. 

Even well-meaning bosses can inadvertently dismiss their employees’ feelings.

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

How Supportive Leaders Approach Emotional Conversations

There are six sociosexual hierarchy ranks ranging from alpha to omega. One of them is Sigma. You may not hear as much about a sigma male as you do about alpha and beta males. But what is it about them that is underappreciated while also being extremely attractive?

11 Personality Traits Of A Sigma Male That Sets Them Apart

A Sigma male is someone who isn't interested in either being a leader or a follower. He is not the loud or aggressive person who tries to get everyone's attention in the room, nor is he the shy and introverted person who pretends not to exist in the room.

So, who exactly is a Sigma male?

<ol><li>He likes to fly solo and is very independent.</li><li>He has a mysterious personality.</li><li>He likes silence.</li><li>He lives life on the edge.</li><li>He is extremely smart.</li><li>He has a rebellious spirit.</li><li>He is never short of attention.</li><li>He has an abstract way of thinking.</li><li>He has his distinctive style.</li><li>He is a deep thinker.</li><li>He can adapt to anything.</li></ol>

Here Are 11 Characteristics of a Sigma Male That Sets Them Apart

Being with a Sigma male can be an extremely rewarding and enriching experience because it will completely broaden your horizons and cause you to see the world in a new light. To be honest, Sigma males are extremely rare and can be difficult to understand, but if you come across one, make a mental note of it.

A sigma male is a free spirit who dances to the drum of his own beat and is extremely self-aware and comfortable in his own skin.

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