<a href="https://productive.fish/blog/self-esteem/">Positive self-esteem</a> helps us navigate through life's challenges with greater ease, while low self-esteem can lead to self-doubt, anxiety, and depression. In this comprehensive guide, we will explore what self-esteem is, why it is important, and offer practical tips to help you increase your self-esteem.

How to Increase Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the value and worth we place on ourselves. It is the belief in our abilities, qualities, and judgments. When we have high self-esteem, we believe in our ability to achieve our goals and handle challenges. On the other hand, when we have low self-esteem, we may doubt our capabilities and feel insecure.

Understanding Self-Esteem

<ul><li>Negative self-talk</li><li>Feeling insecure and unworthy</li><li>Fear of failure</li><li>Difficulty accepting compliments</li><li>Comparing oneself to others</li><li>Avoiding new experiences</li></ul>

Signs of Low Self-Esteem

Having a healthy level of self-esteem is important for several reasons. It can:<ul><li>Boost resilience and mental well-being</li><li>Improve relationships with others</li><li>Encourage personal growth and development</li><li>Increase motivation and goal attainment</li><li>Enhance decision-making and problem-solving skills</li></ul>

Importance of Self-Esteem

Several factors can affect a person's self-esteem. These include:<ol><li>Early childhood experiences and parenting styles</li><li>Social interactions and relationships</li><li>Life experiences and accomplishments</li><li>Physical appearance and health</li><li>Cultural and societal expectations</li></ol>

Factors That Affect Self-Esteem

There are several strategies on <a href="https://productive.fish/blog/self-esteem/">how to improve self-esteem</a>:<ol><li>Practice self-care.</li><li>Focus on your strengths.</li><li>Surround yourself with positive influences.</li><li>Challenge your inner critic.</li><li>Seek professional help.</li></ol>

Building self-confidence is a journey that requires patience, perseverance, and the willingness to learn and grow.

Self-esteem is how you feel or think about yourself. Check out why self-esteem is so important and find some points to improve yours.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

career

Career

mentalhealth

Mental Health

problemsolving

Problem Solving

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

What is Self-Esteem and How to Increase It

There has been considerable research on how body language, particularly <a href="https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190108-why-meeting-anothers-gaze-is-so-powerful">those coming from eye contact </a>, affects our behavior. It's actually quite astounding just how powerful eye contact can be.  Eye contact is so important that science has actually been studying it for many years and they continue to find out more about just how powerful it is. The eyes can give away so much and when we make eye contact with someone, it can have an impact on how we view that person.

We can even make assumptions about someone's personality, or even what they could be thinking based on the way that they make eye contact with us. Here are 5 interesting results:

Staring directly into someone’s eyes causes an arousal reaction. How that arousal is interpreted, however, depends on the parties involved and the circumstances. Being stared at by a stranger who appears large or ominous can be seen as a threat and elicit a fear response. This is common in social animals. A direct stare from a human to a dog or an ape can be interpreted as a threat from the large (and strange) human.

1. If someone is sexually attracted to you

Eye contact has also been found to be <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0887618508000972">somewhat linked to social anxiety </a>. However, the gaze of a <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/200937082/are-your-astrology-signs-sexually-compatible">potential sexual partner </a>causes arousal that can be interpreted positively — as a sexual invitation or a clear sign of interest.

Psychologist Paul Ekman has distinguished between <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/thriving101/201001/what-science-has-say-about-genuine-vs-fake-smiles">smiles that represent genuine happiness </a> (“Duchenne” smiles), and fake smiles that might be used to feign happiness, or cover some other emotion. The key to <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/2018310955/4-biggest-communication-mistakes-we-make-when-reading-body-language">telling a fake smile from a real one </a>is in the eyes. When <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/love/how-to-make-a-girl-smile">forming real smiles, </a>the eyes narrow and create lines, or “crow’s feet,” at the outer corners.

2. If a smile is real or not

When we are interested in something or someone, our pupils will dilate. Some <a href="https://health.howstuffworks.com/relationships/love/love-make-pupils-dilate.htm">research has even found </a>that men rate a woman who has larger pupils as more attractive than women with fuller irises.

3. If someone is interested in you

Research on <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201503/loving-eye-contact-how-mutual-staring-can-create-passion">love and attraction has found </a>that a mutual gaze — <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/2018314040/how-get-high-through-eye-contact-according-study">staring into each other’s eyes </a>— is a good predictor of two individuals being “in love.” Eye contact could be a very important part of dating. The research discovered that even those who <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/love/4-secrets-happiest-married-couples-know">were already a couple </a>found that when they continued to <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/teresa-maples/how-eye-contact-improves-marriage">have eye contact with their partner </a>, they had a greater affection and feeling of passionate love between them.

4. If you're in love

Everyone assumes that a liar won’t look you in the eye, but <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0156615">research on the nonverbal cues </a>associated with deception suggests that a liar engages in more eye contact than a truth-teller. The explanation is that the deceiver goes the extra mile to try to convince you of his or her veracity and so “overdoes” the eye contact in order to appear truthful.

5. If someone is lying

5 Things You Can Learn About Someone Just By Looking Them In The Eye

When You Want To Get To Know Someone, Making Eye Contact And Reading Their Body Language Can Do Wonders. And In This Case, There Are A Few Ways You Can Determine How Someone Feels.

religionandspirituality

Religion & Spirituality

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

Valentine’s Day is actually named for two different Roman saints, both called Valentine and both utterly unconnected to romantic love. Though legend persists that the original St. Valentine was a priest who performed illegal marriages for Emperor Claudius’ soldiers, there’s no evidence to suggest this ever happened.

Valentine's Day and Roman Saints

The first mention of St. Valentine’s Day as a romantic holiday appeared in the writings of Geoffrey Chaucer in 1382. With the medieval period came a new focus on illicit but chaste courtly love, and it is here that we see some of the familiar iconographies begin to appear. Knights would give roses to their maidens and celebrate their beauty in songs from afar. But sugar was still a precious commodity in Europe, so there was no talk of exchanging candy gifts.

The First  Romantic Mention of St. Valentine’s Day

<ul><li>By the 1840s, the notion of Valentine’s Day as a holiday to celebrate romantic love had taken over most of the English-speaking world. </li><li>Into this love-crazed fray came entrepreneur Richard Cadbury (around 1868). Cadbury had recently improved its chocolate-making technique so as to extract pure cocoa butter from whole beans. This process resulted in an excess amount of cocoa butter, which Cadbury used to produce many more varieties of what was then called “eating chocolate.” </li><li>He recognized a great marketing opportunity for the new chocolates and started selling them in beautifully decorate<warningtag>d boxes that he himself designed.</warningtag></li><li><warningtag>From that point, it was a quick jump to taking the familiar images of Cupids and roses and putting them on heart-shaped boxes. </warningtag></li><li><warningtag>﻿While Richard Cadbury didn’t actually patent the heart-shaped box, it’s widely believed that he was the first to produce one.</warningtag><warningtag> </warningtag></li></ul>

The First Valentine's Day Box of Chocolates

The Cadbury chocolate boxes grew increasingly elaborate until the outbreak of World War II, when sugar was rationed and Valentine’s Day celebrations were scaled down. But Victorian-era Cadbury boxes still exist, and many are treasured family heirlooms or valuable items prized by collectors.

Valentine's Day and WW2

food

Food

history

History

How Chocolate Became a Valentine's Day Staple

<ul><li>Narcissistic parents try to fill their emotional void through their children. </li><li>Being raised by a narcissist can lead to a variety of negative feelings and a compromised sense of self in adulthood. </li><li>Adult children of narcissists must grieve the loss of the "good enough" parenting that they never had. </li><li>Ambiguous losses are notable for the conflicting emotions they fuel. </li> </ul>

KEY POINTS

Bowlby and Parke developed a four-stage model of grief that focused on the aspect of attachment to the person who is gone. The stages include shock and numbness, yearning and searching, despair and disorganization, and reorganization and recovery. Bowlby’s research into attachment focused on the ways in which children form attachments from infancy. Looking at attachment as a means for survival, Bowlby’s perspective suggests that separation anxiety is driven by the abject terror of being abandoned by one’s parents.

STAGED MODELS

While narcissistic traits are the kind that drives away most people, children are bound to the narcissist by birth, and as they grow into <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/adolescence">adolescence </a>and adulthood, they may remain entangled in their narcissistic parent’s web. Bound by <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/guilt">guilt </a>and obligation, it can be difficult to move on and disengage. To do so, a clean break may be needed; limiting contact with parents and learning to ignore their calls and texts. Most of us receive a message to honor our parents and show them obedience, but narcissistic parents fail to earn their children’s respect due to the emotional disruption they trigger. Individuating from your parent and building your own sense of self may require you to consciously set aside any hopes that your parent will change and acknowledge that they can never be, nor have they ever been, the “good enough” parent that every child deserves. Accepting the loss of what you never had can free you to become the person you know you were meant to be.

Carving Out Identity in Adulthood

According to Bowlby and Parkes, grief commences with shock and numbness. Children of narcissists may be so numbed to the world around them due to the pressures that are put on them by their parents, they may not realize that their parents and their relationships are not like those of peers at first. Children of narcissists may already be emotionally shut down due to the parent’s controlling and demanding behavior.

Letting Go of a Narcissistic Parent: Shock and Numbness

Ambiguous losses take many forms including being raised by narcissistic parents.

parenting

Parenting

teamwork

Teamwork

Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents

Release the need to blame anyone, including yourself. We're all doing the best we can with the understanding, knowledge and awareness we have.

Look for things to feel good about, and watch how everything in your life will unfold to reflect that good - feeling vibration.

Surround yourself with positive people and situations, and avoid negativity.

The whole world can love you, but that love will not make you happy. What will make you happy is to share all the love you have inside you. That is the love that will make a difference.

Make time to relax, be still, and enjoy your solitude, indulging in much-needed self-care.

Smile and laugh often! Each day, find something happy, joyful, and funny about life - smile and laugh, smile and laugh, and smile and laugh again.

Connect with someone special, a loved one is a gift to treasure.

You are God's divine design. He does not make mistakes. Don't get caught up in wanting to be or trying to be like someone else. Everyone is gifted in different ways. Love being you.

Thriving is as natural as breathing itself. By relaxing often and breathing deeply, your natural thriving is enhanced.

Express your creativity. Delight in the mystery of your inner muse.

Reach for the feeling of well-being first, and everything else will fall into place. Be selfish enough to follow your bliss, and you will tap into the natural, pure, positive essence of you.

It's important to only think about what you desire, not what you fear.

By doing your best, the habits of misusing your word, taking things personally, and making assumptions will become weaker and less frequent with time.

Being in love can make you feel so powerful - it can make you feel as if all kinds of wild and wonderful things are possible.

Live in alignment with your values, vision, abilities, and potential.

You can never repay all you've been given by the creator. Accept the gifts. Live and share them.

If you feel bored, do something, for there is always something to do, see, or explore in this world. Keep in mind that boredom can also cause depression, so get out there and live!

A collection of positive thoughts from Louise L. Hay and others.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

books

Books

EVERYDAY POSITIVE THINKING Each day, randomly open this book to a couple of positive thoughts, and you'll find that your outlook becomes a whole lot brighter! In addition to Louise L. Hay, the authors whose positive words are included in this book are: Abraham-Hicks (Jerry and Esther Hicks), Sylvia Browne, Chrie Carter-Scott, Deepak Chopra, Step...

Louise L. Hay and Friends

Louise L. Hay

Everyday Positive Thinking

Everyone wants the best for their children. These days, parenting is more a problem of doing too much than too little. We all know <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/weird-parenting-wins-summary/">parents </a>who monitor their child’s every move and swoop in to protect them at any sign of conflict or difficulty.  This type of parenting results in adults who are incapable of handling life’s challenges on their own. So how can we avoid it?

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do - Summary 

There’s no shortage of “how-to” books about parenting. But <a href="https://amymorinlcsw.com/about-amy/">Amy Morin </a>, psychotherapist and author of <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33640760-13-things-mentally-strong-parents-don-t-do">13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do </a>, argues it’s just as vital that we know what habits we shouldn’t teach our kids. If we want children that are mentally strong we need to look first at our own detrimental behaviors.  In <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33640760-13-things-mentally-strong-parents-don-t-do">13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do </a>, <a href="https://amymorinlcsw.com/about-amy/">Morin </a>shares the common parenting practices that are holding your child back and teaches what you should do instead.

"Learning how to manage emotions and endure unpleasant feelings are skills that can be taught."-Amy Morin

Author Quote

<ol><li>Encourage responsibility and persistence instead of a victim mentality.   </li><li>Don’t expect your kid to be perfect or immediately step in whenever they make a mistake.   </li><li>Parents who are mentally strong show actions that match their values.  </li> </ol>

Top 3 Book Lessons 

If you want a child that’s mentally strong, you need to start showing them what this looks like. One way you can do this is by not encouraging a victim mentality.  It’s natural for us to want to shield our children from things and defend them when they’ve been wronged. But it’s important to make sure you show them how to deal with life’s challenges instead of viewing themself as a victim of circumstance.

Lesson 1:  Help your child be responsible and persevere

An example <a href="https://amymorinlcsw.com/about-amy/">Morin </a>shares is a 14-year-old patient named Cody who was on medication for his ADHD. His teachers said the medication helped him pay attention and be calmer, but his grades weren’t improving. His parents responded by demanding he be given less work than the other students.

But the problem wasn’t in his workload-it was actually the result of <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/learned-optimism-summary/">learned helplessness </a>. His parents enforced the idea that his ADHD made him incapable, so he believed there was nothing he could do about it. When they recognized the problem and helped him feel like he was able to handle these responsibilities, he started trying and turned his grades around.

When parents are mentally strong, they don’t let kids shy away from assuming responsibility. Hold your child accountable instead of letting them blame others for their problems. In addition, let them practice resolving conflict on their own instead of always intervening, as this makes them more likely to blame others.

A lot of parents view their kids as an extension of themselves. Many secretly hope that if they push them to succeed in the things they didn’t, they can help mend old wounds. But pushing your kid to perfection is bad for their mental health. When you expect perfection, they start to believe your love is conditional and you won’t love them if they make a mistake.

Lesson 2:  Don’t expect perfection or step in to help every time they mess up.

If you want to make sure mistakes don’t destroy their sense of self-worth, help them <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/finish-summary/">try for excellence rather than perfection </a>. Make sure you don’t criticize too much. <a href="https://amymorinlcsw.com/about-amy/">Morin </a>says you can offer what she calls a praise-criticism-praise sandwich. This can be like, “Great job cleaning up the playroom! I noticed you missed a few blocks, but you did great at cleaning up your markers.”

When we expect perfection we also tend to micromanage and overstep, which leads kids to not learn how to bounce back when they make a mistake. Helicopter parenting leads to kids not knowing how to make decisions in adulthood and struggling with taking care of their own needs. These kids are more likely to have mental health problems, physical health problems, and do recreational drugs.

Instead of doing this, help them learn when they slip up that what’s most important is how they overcome problems . Talk with your child about times you <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/when-things-fall-apart-summary/">recovered from setbacks </a>so they can see nobody is perfect, and it’s okay.

As parents, we get caught up in the day to day problems we face. But how often do we step back and wonder if we are teaching them the right life lessons? Morin shares the story of a 15-year-old student named Kyle who got kicked out of his advanced school program when he was caught cheating. His parents couldn’t understand where things went wrong.

Lesson 3:  Mentally strong parents only do things that match the values they teach.

Kyle’s parents seemed to prize his academic performance above everything else, and they often bragged to friends and family about his achievements. Kyle believed that their reputation and his grades were more important than character or honesty. In <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/maybe-you-should-talk-to-someone-summary/">therapy </a>, they realized they had indeed sent the message that he should avoid failure no matter what.

This example demonstrates the lesson that it’s important to emphasize the values you want to instill, and you can do this more with what you do than what you say. A 2014 survey found 80 percent of teens believed their parents prioritized achievement over kindness.

One way you can make sure kids know what values are important is to make a family mission statement. Have values you want to include beforehand, and with everyone’s input, make a short statement about what’s most important to your family. Post it somewhere they will see it.

You can also instill values early in life by explaining why you do good things when they are young. You can explain that you are making dinner for a sick neighbor because it’s important to do kind things for people. Through your example, your child will learn through this that we use what we have to try to make the world around us a better place.

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33640760-13-things-mentally-strong-parents-don-t-do">13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do </a>is a valuable tool for parents of kids at any age. By following <a href="https://amymorinlcsw.com/about-amy/">Morin </a>’s practical advice and learning to be mentally strong ourselves, we can raise kids that will be able to handle their challenges in adulthood.

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do - Book Review

The 30-year-old new parents who want to make sure they are the best they can for their kid, the 49-year-old with teenagers that needs some help coping, and anybody that has kids no matter how old or young.

Who would I recommend this Book To?

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do - Book Summary 

This 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do Summary helps you become better to your kids by explaining how to become mentally strong.

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do Summary

Trust and reciprocity are considered to be the foundation of all human interaction. Trust is your most valuable social capital. First impressions do matter and are made in just a few seconds. However, deep trust between two people depends on being relatable, reliability, dependability, and predictability.

Introduction

Trust is born out of our emotional ties. Trust can be built in two ways; first, it is through cognitive trust, which occurs when a person makes a conscious decision to trust you based on the best knowledge. Second, is through affective trust, which is the confidence one places in a partner based on feelings generated by the level of care and concern the other person demonstrates.

Earning Trust

This 70/30 rule, in all its simplicity, is about reminding people that if they need backing for an idea or project, they must put 30 percent of their effort into creating a personal and trusting relationship with their conversations partners, customers and any potential stakeholders.

The 70/30

Relationships are formed based on these:<ul><li>Your ability to tap into your EQ or <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2019/02/25/the-next-sign-of-great-leadership-emotional-intelligence/#702bc81e5cd3">Emotional Intelligence </a>(your EQ manages mutual trust and chemistry between you and others)</li><li>Your current power base or your existing networks</li><li>Your current and future skills (Your potential)</li><li>Your ability to identify what the other person can get out of forming a relationship with you (it's not all about you can get from the other person)</li></ul>

How to Form A Relationship

Do you want to test the 70/30 rule on your life? When I need to familiarize people and build trust with them, I refrain from talking about my job, education, directorships, and the likes. That only describes what I have done with my time on earth and does not say much about who I am as a human being. If you talk about work, make sure you align it with a story from your life, such as how the Stanford professor explained why he has dedicated his entire life to economics. That said, you should aim to developed a strong bond with the person you wish to gain trust.

Be personal—not private

Do you want to test the 70/30 rule on your life? When I need to familiarize people and build trust with them, I refrain from talking about my job, education, directorships, and the likes. That only describes what I have done with my time on earth and does not say much about who I am as a human being. If you talk about work, make sure you align it with a story from your life, such as how the Stanford professor explained why he has dedicated his entire life to economics. That said, you should aim to developed a strong bond with the person you wish to gain trust.

Once people are convinced that you are a "good" person, they go far in their quest to understand your business, become consumers and even recommend you to their network, friends and family. Show people who you are and what you stand for more than your credentials or what you can "sell" them.

Be personal—not private (Cont)

Therefore, you should use the time you spend with someone efficiently—and you do not do that by exchanging some chit chat about the weather. Before you meet a person, research a little bit about him or her; find out what kind of person he or she is. Do you have anything in common with them? In today's world, you can quickly get a lot of information about someone by doing a quick Google—this is just a small effort, but it pays off many times.

Do Some Research

Trust and reciprocity are considered to be the foundation of all human interaction. Trust is your most valuable social capital.

corporateculture

Corporate Culture

humanresources

Human Resources

The 30/70 Rule To Gaining Someone's Trust

<ul><li>When people notice you are sure about yourself. This communicates strength.</li><li>When people see you are not trying to be confident. Trying reveals desperation. Desperation isn't sexy.</li><li>When you allow others to be themselves in your presence. You allow others to shine and aren't intent upon hogging the attention or making it about yourself.</li><li>When people see that you are not about competing with others. Nobody enjoys someone who makes it about their ego to be above or better than others.</li><li>When people notice that you actively listen and appreciate what others are saying. You make others feel seen.</li></ul>

You appear charming to others

<ul><li>When you choose to speak, you speak intelligently and have got jokes. Intelligence with self-effacing humor is charming. It shows that you are smart but at the same time you understand that the world doesn't revolve around you.</li></ul>

Humans are not the object that you need to impress. They are neither worthy nor unworthy. They are just like you are.You can't control others. Why not focus entirely on controlling your conduct and centering it around values that make you respect yourself?Your expectations must be to uphold your values. How dignified, mannerful, and decent you are to your fellow human species is how you decide what to think of yourself.

Stop Trying to Impress People

The motivation to 'Improve talking skills so people will like you more' is desperate.Instead focus on making your mind a beautiful place filled with knowledge, facts, wisdom, and perspectives, and people will enjoy conversing with you as a result.

Make Your Mind a Beautiful Place

Send your problems on Instagram, and do give a follow: https://www.instagram.com/gangstaphilosopher/You can puchase my book here: https://linktr.ee/gangstaph...

communication

Communication

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

How to be Socially Charming

<ul><li>If they wanted to [do something], they would</li><li>You can't make somebody else change; you can make them dinner you can make them laugh, but you cannot make someone else change</li><li>Stop being mad that people aren't who you want them to be.</li></ul>

3 things you need to accept about other people

The Mel Robbins Podcast is HERE!! 💥 https://bit.ly/tmrp_playlist 👈 Watch the exclusive uncut version of every episode here on YouTube every Monday (to start your week) and Thursday (to get you through it). You can also listen, follow, and rate wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. — Today you and I are digging into three things you must accept about other people. It took me years to understand these truths. It sounds horrible, but I always wondered, “What’s wrong with people? Why don’t they change?” I know you can relate. Because today I’m taking your questions about trying to change other people. You’re frustrated by the fact that your spouse or partner won’t #exercise more. You get angry seeing how much money your daughter wastes going out every weekend. You’re annoyed by how stubborn your #parents have become the older they get. Me too. I’ve tried every tactic you can imagine to get other people to change. And recently I realized the true source of my #frustration: It’s not them, it’s me. I’m refusing to accept three things. These things are hard to accept, and they’re true. Once you hear them and you apply them to your life, your #relationships will be way easier. In addition to the three truths about other people, you’ll learn #research that explains why it’s so hard to get other people to change. And like all episodes, this one is packed with tactical advice and #takeaways that you can put to use immediately. And, if you’re the one who’s busy making changes but your loved ones are not being supportive, I answer that question from a listener, too. I feel compelled to answer your questions because so many of you are improving your life with the tools you’re learning on this podcast and your family is starting to get annoyed with you. That’s okay. It shows you’re making progress (but it doesn’t make it easy). Hopefully today’s episode will. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: - 3 powerful truths you have to accept about people. - How do you deal with people who don’t want to change? - Why some people can’t change. - My “6-month rule” for any complainer - What do when the people around you don’t support the changes you’re making - The science of “Myside bias” and what it says about human nature For full show notes, go to https://www.melrobbins.com/podcast. Timecodes: 4:35 - The 3 things you need to accept about other people 6:08 - If they wanted to they would also applies to you 9:30 - How to word “should” holds judgment 17:17 - What happens when you want to do better, but you just can’t 20:46 - You can’t make someone else change 25:07 - You can’t be mad at someone for being not who YOU want them to be 27:25 - The 6 month rule - how to draw boundaries with wallowers 33:59 - What do when the people around you don’t support the changes you make 36:37 - When you try to change someone you aren’t loving someone, you are judging them 41:07 - Energy shifts and patterns change 43:47 - Your changes do not inspire other people, they confront them 48:48 - Research: The problem with my side bias 53:49 - Loving someone is loving where they are, and where they aren’t Listen to the #podcast episode “3 Truths You Need to Accept About Other People” - https://link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=ep21_description --- Subscribe to the channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 --- Follow me here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/melrobbins TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins --- Sign up for my newsletter written to YOU at: https://www.melrobbins.com/newsletter​ --- Looking for my books on Amazon? Here they are! High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/3372Rl9

videos

Videos

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—

Today you and I are digging into three things you must accept about other people. 

It took me years to understand these truths.

It sounds horrible, but I always wondered, “What’s wrong with people? Why don’t they change?”

I know you can relate. Because today I’m taking your questions about trying to change other people. 

You’re frustrated by the fact that your spouse or partner won’t #exercise more. You get angry seeing how much money your daughter wastes going out every weekend. You’re annoyed by how stubborn your #parents have become the older they get.

Me too.

I’ve tried every tactic you can imagine to get other people to change. And recently I realized the true source of my #frustration: It’s not them, it’s me.

I’m refusing to accept three things.

These things are hard to accept, and they’re true.

Once you hear them and you apply them to your life, your #relationships will be way easier.

In addition to the three truths about other people, you’ll learn #research that explains why it’s so hard to get other people to change. And like all episodes, this one is packed with tactical advice and #takeaways that you can put to use immediately.

And, if you’re the one who’s busy making changes but your loved ones are not being supportive, I answer that question from a listener, too.

I feel compelled to answer your questions because so many of you are improving your life with the tools you’re learning on this podcast and your family is starting to get annoyed with you. That’s okay. It shows you’re making progress (but it doesn’t make it easy).

Hopefully today’s episode will.

Xo Mel 

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- 3 powerful truths you have to accept about people.
- How do you deal with people who don’t want to change?
- Why some people can’t change.
- My “6-month rule” for any complainer
- What do when the people around you don’t support the changes you’re making
- The science of “Myside bias” and what it says about human nature


For full show notes, go to https://www.melrobbins.com/podcast.

Timecodes:
4:35 - The 3 things you need to accept about other people
6:08 - If they wanted to they would also applies to you
9:30 - How to word “should” holds judgment
17:17 - What happens when you want to do better, but you just can’t 
20:46 - You can’t make someone else change 
25:07 - You can’t be mad at someone for being not who YOU want them to be
27:25 - The 6 month rule - how to draw boundaries with wallowers 
33:59 - What do when the people around you don’t support the changes you make
36:37 - When you try to change someone you aren’t loving someone, you are judging them 
41:07 - Energy shifts and patterns change
43:47 - Your changes do not inspire other people, they confront them
48:48 - Research: The problem with my side bias 
53:49 - Loving someone is loving where they are, and where they aren’t 

Listen to the #podcast episode “3 Truths You Need to Accept About Other People” - https://link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=ep21_description

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Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast while you're on-the-go! https://link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=listennow 🎧 Available wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. New episodes drop every Monday (to start your week) and Thursday (to get you through it).
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High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ
The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/3372Rl9

NY Times Best Selling Author + Award Winning Podcast Host with 5x #1 best selling audiobooks on Audible.

Mel Robbins

3 Things You Need to Accept About Other People | The Mel Robbins Podcast

here Lana Blakely shares 6 ways a person can be more interesting and attractive for the people to interact with

How to be a lot more interesting

Or in scientific way, monotask. <ul><li>when you're thinking don't look at your phone.</li><li>when driving don't think about what happened yesterday.</li><li>When spending time with your friends and loved ones, don't space out or get distracted.</li></ul>Always live in the mom

1.Be more present

When faced with contradicting ideas, don't discard it. On the opposite, you have to give it a chance, let it sink in, and then choose whether it was true or not.

2.Be more open-minded

Having basic knowledge about a verity of stuff and fields will drastically help you both socially and professionally.

3.Know things

In this world of where the masses tend to conform, the right thing to is to have your own opinion about things.<ul><li>You must gain sufficient knowledge about the certain topic in order to make up opinion.</li><li> </li></ul>

4.Have you own opinions

In this day and age, storytelling is a powerful tool. <ul><li>telling stories through journaling will help reflect on life.</li><li>Can also generate content for social media posts and videos.</li><li>In itself can make you live more vividly</li></ul>

Authenticity is being true and living the moment.No fear from sharing the misfortunes and failures and no hiding behind cool-guy act.

6.Be Authentic

These ideas, simple as they are, can help us in nurturing genuine relationships with the people around us

Sign up to my newsletter here to join my 10 weeks of brand new newsletters — https://www.lanablakely.com 00:00 - Introduction 01:56 - I. Being present 04:08 - II. Being open minded 06:00 - III. Knowing stuff 06:36 - III. Having opinions of ones own 07:56 - V Telling stories 09:15 - VI Being authentic If you like my work, make sure to: ✉️ Sign up to the weekly Monday Ro newsletter here — https://www.lanablakely.com 🎙️ Listen to The Lana Blakely Podcast, out every Tuesday — https://geni.us/lanablakelypod 🤎 Help support here (if you can) — https://www.patreon.com/lanablakely 📷 Join our Instagram community — https://www.instagram.com/lanablakely 🐦 Join our Twitter community — https://www.twitter.com/lanablakelys 📘 Join our Facebook community — https://www.facebook.com/lanablakelys 🔺 Join our Reddit community — https://www.reddit.com/r/Lana_Blakely What I use to make my videos: 🎼 This is where I get all my music and sound effects — https://geni.us/lanablakelymusic (get a 30 day free trial) 🎥 My main camera — https://geni.us/W0w8 📹 My vlog camera — https://geni.us/hMqRA7 🔎 My favorite lens — https://geni.us/FcKaF 🎙️ My mic #1 — https://geni.us/cCdW 🎤 My mic #2 — https://geni.us/FPPOFx For the full list, go here — https://www.lanablakely.com/filmmaking What I use for my daily journaling: 📓 Notebook — https://geni.us/HyHhy3 🖋️ Pen — https://geni.us/W6pF3NA Reading: 🔦 What I read on — https://geni.us/FPDsCw 📕 My favorite book — https://geni.us/BPcp For my complete book recommendation list, go here — https://www.lanablakely.com/bookclub 👩‍💼 Business mail only — hello@lanablakely.com This post contains affiliate links, which means I may earn a commission if you choose to make a purchase through my link, with no extra cost to you.

podcasts

Podcasts

Sign up to my newsletter here to join my 10 weeks of brand new newsletters — https://www.lanablakely.com

00:00 - Introduction
01:56 - I. Being present
04:08 - II. Being open minded
06:00 - III. Knowing stuff
06:36 - III. Having opinions of ones own
07:56 - V Telling stories
09:15 - VI Being authentic

If you like my work, make sure to: 

✉️ Sign up to the weekly Monday Ro newsletter here — https://www.lanablakely.com

🎙️ Listen to The Lana Blakely Podcast, out every Tuesday — https://geni.us/lanablakelypod

🤎 Help support here (if you can) — https://www.patreon.com/lanablakely 

📷 Join our Instagram community — https://www.instagram.com/lanablakely

🐦 Join our Twitter community — https://www.twitter.com/lanablakelys

📘 Join our Facebook community — https://www.facebook.com/lanablakelys

🔺 Join our Reddit community — https://www.reddit.com/r/Lana_Blakely 

What I use to make my videos: 

🎼 This is where I get all my music and sound effects — https://geni.us/lanablakelymusic (get a 30 day free trial)

🎥 My main camera — https://geni.us/W0w8

📹 My vlog camera — https://geni.us/hMqRA7

🔎 My favorite lens — https://geni.us/FcKaF

🎙️ My mic #1 — https://geni.us/cCdW

🎤 My mic #2 — https://geni.us/FPPOFx

For the full list, go here — https://www.lanablakely.com/filmmaking 

What I use for my daily journaling:

📓 Notebook — https://geni.us/HyHhy3

🖋️ Pen — https://geni.us/W6pF3NA

Reading:

🔦 What I read on — https://geni.us/FPDsCw

📕 My favorite book — https://geni.us/BPcp

For my complete book recommendation list, go here — https://www.lanablakely.com/bookclub

👩‍💼 Business mail only — hello@lanablakely.com

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may earn a commission if you choose to make a purchase through my link, with no extra cost to you.

This is my open journal. 

Business email ⟶  lanablakely@sixteenth.co  


Lana Blakely

Find 100+ Facts about Love & Relationships - Curated from trusted sources like  Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!